The BODY Language of Sex - Part Four

What do your legs say about you?

Crossing your legs can be very revealing. Author of the best selling book 'Body Language' Allan Pease, says that leg language (the way people sit, stand and cross their legs) is an important indicator to what they are really thinking.  For example if a woman crosses her legs towards a man, it's a reliable sign that she's interested in him.  If her feet are pointed away, its a fairly good indication the relationship will stay platonic. "Body language and gestures is a window to how you feel emotionally" say Mr Pease. The further away from your brain a body part is, the harder it is to have conscious control over it.  So the parts you have least control over are your feet and legs. You can have conscious control over facial expressions and smiles, but legs tend to act more autonomously.

A sign things are looking up in the romance stakes is when someone mimics your leg language. "If you are standing and talking to someone and you want to know if they like you, look at the ground and you will notice their lead foot is pointing directly at you." Mr Pease said. "If you like them, you mirror them by pointing your foot back at them."  We point our feet at people we like the most. Mr Pease said women were much better at interpreting body language than men.

Sitting:

Men often sit with their legs apart in an aggressive crotch display, a position that says "I'm macho, masculine and in power." In the presence of a woman, it’s a firm stance for a man who is not going to let a woman tell him what to do, whereas, women use leg crossing to protect their genital area. A woman’s legs are opened wider than they would have been if the male had not arrived on the scene. This occurs whether the woman is sitting or standing, in contrast with the sexually defensive female who keeps her legs crossed and together at all times.

Women use three basic positions to indicate an open (positive) courting attitude.  With the knee-joint: one leg is tucked under the other, and points towards the person she finds interesting. Women know that the crossed leg with the exposed thigh is powerful. This is one reason mini skirts have always been successful. The shoe fondle: also a relaxed attitude with a phallic effect of thrusting the foot in and out of her shoe, which can drive some men wild. The leg twine: Is the sitting position most men find appealing. Legs are crossed, with the knee exposed, and one leg is firmly pressed against the other, to give the appearance of high muscle tone. Another position dubbed 'the Ally McBeal' is a flirtatious position where the knees are together and ankles apart to form an X shape - a stance that suggests the promise of a surprise. Other signals include slow crossing and uncrossing of the legs in front of the man, and stroking her thighs with her hands, which is a strong indicator of wanting to be touched.

Closed (negative) courting attitude:

Ankle Cross or Ankle Lock: Typically seen in a dentist’s chair (or on the train) It is a shut-off, non participatory position usually seen with hands by the sides, gripping the chair or crossed in the lap. Unless the woman is wearing a mini skirt, this position is seen to be a form of defensiveness and also a formal position used by royalty. Ankle Twine: Legs are almost double crossed in a sexually defensive position that says 'stay away' the purpose is to lock legs together tightly so they cannot be prised apart. A single ankle lock suggests a negative or defensive attitude.  Using a barrier, ie fence, doorway, desk, open door of car, or straddling a chair is a trademark American position that is a power stance for men and women alike. It indicates an aggressive attitude.  Chair straddlers are dominant people who try to take control.

Standing:

Ones own personal space - a defined air space around one's body that you carry around with you. The size of this space depends on the conditions and culture in which you were raised. The radius of the personal space around suburban, middle class white people living in Australia, New Zealand, UK, USA and Canada is generally the same.

There are four distinct zone differences:

The Intimate zone: 15-45 cm or 6-18 inches.  This is personal property and only those emotionally close are permitted to enter it.

Personal zone: 46 cm  1.2 metres or 18-48 inches. The distance we stand from others at meetings, cocktail parties, social functions and friendly gatherings.

Social zone: 1.2-3.6 metres or 4-12 feet. The distance we stand from strangers and people we don't know very well.

Public zone: over 3.6 metres or 12 feet.

People will invite or reject you depending on the respect you have for their personal space. A number of factors can influence the spatial distance a person takes in relation to others; it is wise to consider all the criteria before making a judgement about why they are keeping a certain distance.

A defensive standing position:  Next time you attend a conference or meeting you will notice groups of people all standing with their arms and legs crossed. They stand at a greater distance from each other than customary, and jackets and coats are all buttoned. These people are all strangers to each other.

If a person is speaking to you and nodding and smiling but their feet are pointed away from you, towards another person or towards an exit. The direction which they orient their torso and feet is where they'd rather be going. 

Positive Pointer:

In another group you will notice arms unfolded, coats unbuttoned, palms exposed, leaning with one foot pointing towards other members of the group and moving in and out of others intimate zones. These people are friends or known personally to each other. Studies in Australia, New Zealand Canada and the USA reveal that this opening up procedure is the same in each of these countries. Crossing the outer leg towards another person is a sure sign of a positive love interest or feeling relaxed in their company. Crossing your legs away indicates a negative interest.

That's the end of this series. Stay tuned for lots more goodies…

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