|
RALPH
v BOB
A comparison of my two sex
partners. By
Susan Simpson Very
recently, I attended a lingerie party with 15 other ladies,
all of whom were either married or involved in committed
relationships. As the evening wore on and we had all enjoyed a
few glasses of wine, the conversation inevitably turned to our
'other halves'. While
we were obviously all there to purchase sexy garments to
please the men in our lives, it seemed to me as though this
very undertaking made it okay for us to have an 'open mike'
session about the attitudes and habits of our partners that
drive us a little crazy. So,
inspired by the conversation that night, I thought I would
actually put into print the pros and cons of my two regular
sex partners, RALPH and BOB. Five
reasons why BOB is better than RALPH. RALPH
sometimes wants sex at the most inopportune times.
BOB
only ever gets turned on when I'm feeling horny. My
relationship with RALPH has its ups and downs.
There's real electricity in my relationship with BOB. RALPH
is his own man and we sometimes disagree on things.
I know I always have BOB in the palm of my hand. It's
embarrassing when RALPH starts to sing when he's drunk.
BOB has never touched alcohol and only ever hums. If
I yell at RALPH, he yells back then storms off.
With BOB, I can scream my lungs out and he never says a
word. Five
reasons why RALPH is better than BOB. RALPH
is well mannered and polite with good social etiquette.
BOB has no idea how
to behave in public and can't really be taken anywhere. RALPH
has been my confidante and counsellor for many years.
Unless he's pushed into it, BOB can be cold and emotionless. RALPH
has a tremendous relationship with my family, especially my
father.
I wouldn't dare introduce BOB to my folks, particularly my
dad. RALPH
is a genuinely intelligent man with a great job.
BOB has no brains and is only ever switched on when I want him
to be. RALPH
is very self-motivated and has a lot of 'get up and go'.
BOB simply lies around the house most of the day. So,
have you figured it out yet? Okay, I'll let you in on the
secret. RALPH is my Real,
Affectionate, Loving Pal & Husband. BOB is my Battery Operated
Boyfriend.
|
