Why People don’t respond to Personal Ads.

There is nothing more frustrating online sending out emails or messages to get no response.

One always wonders why. Was it something I said, something I am, something I didn’t say? Did they receive my message? Are they too busy to not reply, or is there some other reason?

There is no easy answer why email goes astray, but there are reasons why people fail to respond to emails received in response to a personal ad.

I have discussed this problem with other women, and the following article outlines why women may fail to respond to your approach. Following that, some tips on how to improve your odds at getting better responses to your Ad.

When an email is received this is what is seen:

The Source - in this case SexyAds.

The Sender - the person’s SexyAds nickname.

The body of the email containing some or all of these:

A greeting (to you)

An introduction (if there is one).

The body or content of the email.

The conclusion (which should contain an invitation and your name).

As the Sender - your nickname has far more power than you realize.  The name you give yourself describes who you are, and tells the receiver a lot about your personality and expectations. Choose your name with care, or change it if you have no luck with your profile or email. In the thousands of emails I’ve received, some I would never respond to, simply because of their name. I recently asked four other women about this. I asked that if they received mail from somebody with a name of ‘snatchtaster’ or ‘pussylicker’ - irrespective of the content of the mail - four out of five women said they would not reply, for that reason.  However, there is nothing stopping you from using such a nickname in the chatroom, unless someone else has registered that name. So guys, take note. Women read those names and think that sex is the only thing you want them for and most are looking for sex and good conversation, or sex and a bit of respect as a human being or sex and many things they aren't getting in their current life.

The body of the email you send, is also important.  One liners, rude, offensive and blatant approaches are a sure way to have the lady pressing the delete button. You want to arouse her interest, not make her sick. If you are going to use some snappy lines, use skill, and always remember your manners. Cheeky is OK, rude is not.  “I suppose a shag is out of the question?” or “I do great U-turns under the sheets!” are funny without being too offensive, as long as the rest of the email and your name is not rude or offensive.

If you make reference to her profile, don’t ask her questions that are clearly answered in her ad. It can make a woman angry to be asked idiotic questions, that you should know if you read her profile first. Don’t boast, don’t type in capitals - it shows you are rude, lazy and don’t care. 

Don’t ask the person to act as a tour guide either, emails like these may ensure your email hits the bin real fast!

“I’m from (insert any city or country) and I’m moving to (your town) to do some work. It will great if we get to know each other so that you can show me around (your town) and other areas. Looking forward to hear from you soon.”

“I am—years old from ------ and travel a lot for business..” “I live in ---, but travel fairly extensively, and visit (your area) on a fairly regular basis.”

“OK, I’ll cut straight to the chase. I get to (your town) regularly on business. Spend most nights in a hotel room with nothing but room service for company....”

Always check your grammar and spelling. Make sure you say please and thank you. It is a nice touch to state your real name and also your nickname, such as “Looking forward to hearing from you, regards, Philip (Randyone)”

Remember you are writing a personal letter, so don’t be stiff and formal,

“To whom it may concern”

·        definitely not!  Dear Lady, Dear Miss, Dear Madam - oh please!!  In ending be yourself. Don’t write sincerely yours or yours sincerely, best wishes or good luck! If you must use regards, then use your name. Yours happily, cheerily, love, warmly, affectionately, cheers, huggs, huggles, cuddles, smile are all friendly without being overwhelming.

Ask a couple of questions that are likely to invite a response. When when replying if she has asked any questions, then respond to them in context.  Avoid cliches like ‘Thank you for your letter’ or “I hope this finds you well’. There is nothing wrong with being appreciative, but don’t gush.  Avoid saying you are a ‘professional man’ do you know how ridiculous that sounds? You don’t hear people saying “I’m a man, an amateur man.”  If what you do indicates what sort of person you are, then say what that is.

Reply to people who write to you:

Writing a letter and receiving no response can be devastating. It is a form of rejection, and none of likes to be rejected. For many people sitting down and writing a letter, telling someone else about them, can be a difficult obstacle to overcome. So don’t make it too hard on the person, especially if you see the person has made a big effort. Meaning to get around to answering is not good enough, you have to do it. Make sure you answer mail, even if it is to decline, but offer well wishes. You will feel better for it, and the person who gets a response will be delighted.  So its a win-win situation.

Follow up:

A part of the problem with e-mail, is sometimes it can go astray. People’s computers crash, people get worms, viruses, and peoples lives tend to take precedence. Send a cheerful reminder if you have heard nothing back after a reasonable period of time. Allow at least a week. A friendly query such as “Did you get my first email?” or “I’m taking the liberty of resending this, just in case you didn’t get the first one...”  If you still don’t hear anything back after another week, let it go and move on.

In Conclusion:

1.   Read the person's profile.

2.   Is your nickname interesting, but not offensive?

3.   Does your letter show you are honest?

4.   Does it convey who you are and your personality?

5.   Does it give some inkling about your values, your attitude to life and maybe some humor? 

6.   Have you invited the person to contact you back?

Happy Hunting!

DocHunny@sexyads.com 

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