A Hairy Story

In this fast pace world of today, how many of you out there just don’t have the time to ensure you are “de-haired”. Ever get to the point where it’s a forest down below and your pubic hair meets the hair on your knees! It’s that long that you could plait it and fling it over your shoulder! The growth is that bushy and overgrown, that you have a serious hazard during bushfire season!!

Shaving can be dangerous and painful with those nicks and cuts, and if you have a blunt razor then add razor burn to the list as well. Goodness, you can nearly hamstring yourself trying get round the lower ankles. The knees are definitely not made for shaving over or around. Just like swinging a golf club on the fairway - you take a great big divot out of your knees if you get a razor within a hair’s breath of them. Which look is more attractive - a little extra hair, or scabs and scars? To remain smooth and silky, you generally have to shave every second day. If shaving the pubic area, it needs to be done just about every day, and regrowth and those annoying red spots have you discretely scratching!

Everyone knows that if you grab a handful of hair and pull hard - it hurts!! But still waxing was created and advertised as a great hair removal system. We are all timid about removing a band-aid from a “hairy” part of our body, yet quite happily go and put what can only be described as one HUGE band-aid on our legs, pubic region and underarms and then “rip” it off. Besides the mess, overheating the wax can be big hazard, and if you don’t “rip” at the right speed and angle, well, it then become a slow and painful process. Fair enough, it works and thank goodness the results last for 4 to 6 weeks, however, having to wait for the regrowth to be long enough for another go, leaves us with that “hairy” problem again that needs covering for a week or two.

As for epilators – you know what it is like to have hair tweezed out one by one. Of course you do, got to tidy up those eyebrows occasionally. Well now imagine 100 tweezers all pulling hair out at the same time. Yep, kind of makes the eyes water, doesn’t it. Of the two hair-pulling options, waxing is probably slightly better, but only if someone is doing it for you.

Depilatory creams - if you manage not to get an allergic reaction, hallucinate or pass out from the smell, then you are starting off well. Make sure you have no broken skin on the area to be treated, or you will know about it. It’s just like rubbing salt into a wound.

Now we have the wonder of laser hair removal. It sounds great, pain-free and permanent – the down side? Expensive. Only those elite few can afford it. Us, middle-class, working class, average every day people normally can’t afford it, unless we forgo holidays, food and heating for a year!!!

Hair is on our body for a reason. The hair follicles contract in colder weather, in order to trap air, which then warms. So remove the hair and you freeze your arse of. Whoever made it fashionable for legs, underarms and the pubic region to be hair free has a lot to answer for.

Perhaps we should just say, “hang fashion”, and start answering those ads placed by Men Seeking Hairy Women!!