Despite what John Gray thinks about men and women being alien beings from Venus and Mars, we are all earthlings, and we get along fine, we just need some of our communication skills refined, especially in the lead up to the bedroom.

While it is said to be easy to please men - just turn up naked, and bring beer - on the other hand, pleasing women, ain't quite so easy. While there is no one right way to please a woman, the first step in learning how to pleasure her is to talk to her. Communication happens in many different ways. The best communication comes from a compilation of using direct and indirect techniques. Watch her dressing and undressing, watch what sorts of products she uses on her body, whether she bathes or showers, how she soaps up her body, does she spend a long time washing and stroking her breasts, does she shave between her legs, if she does her vulva will be much more sensitive to touch, and she will probably enjoy cunnilingus, provided you don't go at her like a bull in a china shop.

If she is willing, take a shower together and wash her all over, and also wash her hair. It is incredibly sensual, and you know she is squeaky clean. If she likes, she can also wash you. If you are really uncertain about where to start, try to find out what she likes, wants and needs by asking her what feels good, ask her what part of sex play she finds most arousing - teasing, flirting, kissing, hand holding, massage, masturbating, oral sex, intercourse... You can also find out what she likes by blindfolding her (or maybe she might like to blindfold you) and she has to verbally guide your hands, fingers, tongue, and any other body parts to where she wants them, softly, roughly, however she likes.

Many women find a soak in a bathtub full of bubbles and some after bath pampering, and a nice massage very relaxing, and if unhurried, also very arousing. There are aromatic and aphrodisiac oils you can use to help your partner relax and also become aroused. I've tried these out myself and guarantee they work, both on the pamperer and the pamperee! If she doesn't go for the bath, just attend to her feet. A foot soak in some warm water with rose oil and massage with some vitamin E or rose-scented lotion will have her purring.

If she is willing you can massage her finger tips, her hands arms, breasts, her stomach, her thighs, and anything else that needs some tender lovin' care. If you feel inclined, try sucking on her toes. Some women love it!

Another thing to remember to get a woman horny - is honest, genuine praise. While praising her won't make her instant wet, it helps her feel pleased, self assured and self confident. Praise her hair - after all, you just washed it, look how it shines - her eyes, and the things you love about her - and of course dinner, if she made it just for you!

Whilst it is important to be aware that the clitoris is a ball of nerves that feels good when it's touched and rubbed, its not the first, but the LAST place you need to go, if you want your woman really aroused, its better that you take it a little slower. The whole idea is to build her up slowly, but not too slowly. Think of it as climbing a mountain. Start at the FOOT hills and work you way to the CLIMAX at the TOP of the MOUNT!