by Doc.Hunny
Whenever you participate in any personal
ads system, you have two choices. You can search, read and
respond to any ads that take your fancy, or you can place an
ad of your own. Of course it depends upon the nature of the ad
and the medium as to whether there is a fee required in order
to respond to ads, or a sliding scale of costs. Some can be
quite expensive. At SexyAds you can register, search and
browse current ads for FREE. There is a limit to how many ads
you can browse and respond to every 3 hours, but that
limit is removable by joining the Kama Sutra Club for a low
monthly fee.
The second choice is to place a personal
ad yourself and take a calculated risk. Combining both choices
is ideal, because on one hand you have put an open invitation
'out there' and on the other, you have the opportunity to
respond to many others at your own discretion. As they say,
nothing ventured, is nothing gained, so after you place your
own personal ad, read and respond to some ads in the category,
age and location you seek. Here are some tips on how to get it
right.
Never send out more than ten emails to
people at once. I think it is wise to only contact a couple of
people at one time. But if you think you can handle bulk mail
outs, then take the advice offered in the article on 'Writing
An Effective Personal Ad' on keeping a record of who you wrote
to and when, and the subject title so you can refer back to
your email when s/he responds.
It can be quite offensive to a woman
responding to a mans email if he gets mixed up and refers to
comments made in another persons profile, email comments
uttered by someone else, or the worst faux pas of all, calling
her by the wrong name! So make sure you read the profile/email
carefully, respond to questions posed and leave room for good
manners. "Thank you for writing," "I was
thrilled to receive your mail," "I hope to hear from
you again very soon," is polite and enthusiastic.
The first contact - like the first
impression - is VERY important. On the WWW if you blow it on
your introduction, your email is promptly deleted. No second
chance. You can't back up and say "Oh that's not quite
what I MEANT to say.." D'oh! That first mail needs to
address two important facts: Firstly it is an INTRODUCTION TO
YOU. It is the first step in potential ping-pong mail or it
can be an explicit invitation to initiate sexual contact as
outlined in that persons profile. The wording on a casual sex
ad has to be more specific and to the point and will be dealt
with in more detail in the next article. So say what you mean
and mean what you say! Secondly your email is an INVITATION
FROM YOU, to which you hope the person will respond. It could
be the best one they have received all week!
Start off by saying who you are and what
on earth you are mailing about. Many professional people get
volumes of mail both important and junk in their email box
every day. If they have a good ad in, then they also get a lot
of responses. Make yours stand out from the crowd. Come to the
point in the first two lines. You really don't have say a
great deal. Remember you've read their profile and maybe have
seen their photo, and you have formed some opinion about them.
You are starting off cold, so invite them to see your profile
or read your ad if you have one. Reveal enough information to
generate interest and offer some basics about what you seek.
Don't reveal too much. The idea is to get a response.
Nobody wants your life story in the
first email. Include a sensible compliment. Nothing as
overwhelming as 'your eyes are like limpid pools' but
something that compliments who they are, and what you think
about their ad without being sickening. From that you may use
a line to INVITE. Maybe mention doing something s/he may have
said they liked to do in their profile, such as wining and
dining "Maybe we could get to know each other over a nice
dinner and a few glasses of great wine..." So you are
inviting him/her to dinner, ask him/her what sort of foods
s/he likes. If you see in a profile they like live theatre,
shows, concerts then you may like to suggest they may like to
see some show coming up, leaving it open ended, for them to
accept or reject.
If you are a more cautious type, and
really want to get to know the person before risking dinner, a
show or anything else, then suggest coffee and an obligation
free mutual appraisal. Most people are immensely relieved or
mortified in the first 10 seconds of meeting, so sometimes
providing a quick and easy out is important. (More on that
first date in another article) Only make suggestions for those
sorts of things you are willing to carry through on. Make sure
the invitation isn't hindered by possible work or lack of
babysitter. You want nothing to stand in the way of a yes.
In summary:
Read all the available ads. Respond to
ads that take your fancy by addressing who you are, what you
liked about their photo or ad, and inviting them to respond to
your approach. Place your own personal ad, with care to
wording and revising as outlined in Writing an Effective
Personal Ad. Lastly, keep trying. The internet is a very quick
medium and for many getting results can take as little as a
week or as long as a few years. A certain amount of luck
helps, but what you say and do also has a great deal of
bearing on how successful you can be. If you are not getting
any replies or responses, then there could be something wrong,
so be sure to investigate that your email address is correct
and valid and that your ad reads well (revise it often) and
don't forget, a photo increases your chances of a response by
tenfold.
So Good Luck!
Doc Hunny
