During the spring, I went with a friend to look at new cars. She was the prospective buyer, I was merely the tag-a-long since she (like most people) hates having to go through the car buying experience alone. Price haggling, aggressive and sleazy salespeople, inflated prices, misleading prices, I could go on. Anyway, she was looking to upgrade her 1998 Jetta, and was considering a 3-series BMW, Chrysler Sebring convertible, and a newer, sportier Jetta. 

The first stop was the local Chrysler dealership. I hated our salesman from the first impression. He was dressed sleazy, and he continuously looked us over from top to bottom. He wore a cheap suit, and he was sweating. He conveyed absolutely no initial trust. When he finally took us outside to see a few models of the Sebring they had on the lot, I was able to do a bit of price comparison. The price tags were all in the $27K range, which to me seemed a bit high for a "Chrysler." We finally stopped outside a silver Sebring. He maneuvered the top down, and asked us to sit inside. It was nice, but I still felt it was overpriced. As the salesman began raving about all the amazing features, he said something that almost made me puke. While looking at her, he commented "If you take it out on winding roads with the top down in this kind of weather, driving it will feel better than sex." My friend seemed to let it slide right past her, and since he was talking to her, I didn't feel right telling him how unprofessional his comment was. Or, perhaps it had to do with the fact that he was repulsive, and just the mention of sex from his mouth made me ill. 

As it turned out, we took a test drive that day, and my friend ended up trading her Jetta in for another Jetta. Much like me, she can often be a creature of habit. But since that time, I remembered his statement about driving with the top down being better than sex. Nothing feels better than sex. Does it?

To me, the feeling of a good orgasm has never been topped. There are definitely different levels of orgasm, but even the weakest orgasm far outranks any other feeling imaginable. What is it about an orgasm that feels so incredibly good? I suppose it has to do with rendering me nearly unconscious for several moments, leaving me unaware of my surroundings. When I am experiencing a top-notch orgasm, the pressure builds steadily over a period of time. Depending on the situation, the building can last for an hour or more, or as short as 10-15 minutes. But there is a definite accumulation of pressure, and eventually, it reaches the peak where you basically strap yourself in for the explosion. And when it hits, everything in the world changes. For those precious few minutes, everything is right. My legs feel like jelly, and my entire body feels flushed. Blood races to my brain which seems to enhance every one of my senses. I need to scream, and often do. I need to moan, and often do. I need to wince, and often do. Sometimes, when it's over, I wonder why I can't live every moment of my life in the same euphoric state. And then I wonder why I don't have sex several times every day. Then, of course, reality slowly begins to sink back in, and I realize (at least as of this writing) that there is no proven orgasm pill. I did read about one a few years ago that was supposed to give you the feeling of orgasm, but I read as many negative things about it as were positive. And the same goes for other illegal drugs.

So we repressed humans do the next best thing. We have sex as often as our culture, situation, and experiences permit, and other times we masturbate. Yes, for the millionth time, I am a woman that actually admits that I masturbate. Often. I love to orgasm. It is the best feeling in the world. Why is that wrong? It does not diminish my feelings for actual sex. It doesn't give me blisters. Actually, it has greatly helped in discovering what I like best, and communication between lovers is essential to reach the ultimate orgasm. I have discovered the way I like to have my clitoris stimulated. I have also discovered other erogenous areas of my private area, and can easily direct my lover's fingers, tongue, or penis toward those areas. When a lover is stimulating my clitoris, I can help to instruct him on what feels best. The same way I welcome those comments when I am pleasuring my lover orally or by hand. And while I still would love to walk around every day in some feeling phase of orgasm, the combination of my sex life and masturbation keeps me somewhat appeased. 

But back to the big question - is there something else that will feel even better to me? My initial, resounding "no" has been placed to the side, and I have been thinking about that question for weeks. Many things feel good. Did you ever lay on a beach under golden sunshine, warm, with a crisp ocean breeze. So beautiful that you begin to doze off. You hear your CD or radio playing, and you feel the breeze, but you're not awake. You're not asleep either, since you still hear the music and feel the breeze. You are in a state between being conscious and unconscious, feeling the sun and breeze. This was the closest feeling I came up with to equate to an orgasm. Does it top even the weakest orgasm? Probably not. But it is a great feeling.

I turned to my Internet friends to see if they could top the feeling of orgasm. While the vast majority could not top an orgasm, several of the men came pretty close with sports, financial, drug, and bathroom analogies, while several of the women came close with more romantic suggestions. 

More specifically...

Among the feelings men equated to orgasm were hitting the perfect golf shot with a driver, and hitting the perfect line drive in baseball. Multiple men mentioned these feelings. One man, who is an amateur car racer, felt the feeling of racing a car at 170+ MPH rivaled the feeling of orgasm. Others went with gambling issues, like hitting big in a casino, or watching the horse you bet on close from last to first to win a race. Several discussed drugs, and the feelings some drugs allow you to experience. Yet others got a bit more graphic, and discussed bathroom issues. Such as urinating after holding it in a very long time. Actually, although I am not medical and I am too lazy right now to look it up, that one might have something to do with the prostate gland, correct? When manipulated correctly, the prostate is said to provide the ultimate orgasm, so perhaps the urination is related.

Women I talked to went a different direction to rival orgasms. Things like cuddling before and after sex, kissing and fondling on a beach during a star-lit night, and having a full-body massage after a hard day were the ones most discussed to come close to an orgasm. Oh, and I almost forgot, a few ladies mentioned eating chocolate!

So tell me, loyal readers. Did I miss any feelings that might equal an orgasm? For my buck, I'll still take the orgasm!

© Jenn at e-crap.com