Sex and Reality

Are Men Pleasuring Themselves to a Different Tune?

In many ways, this column is a continuation of one I did several weeks ago, titled "When is Sex not Really Sex?" That column centered on the abundance of new Internet ranking sites, where mostly young gals post candid, sometimes risqué, often raw, web-cam shots, in the hopes of being rated higher than other gals. The charm (or turn-on, for a better word) often comes from the fact that these semi-naked gals might be your next door neighbors and are more "attainable" than Playboy Playmates. And if not attainable, perhaps they present better material for men to pleasure themselves to. But that column only scratched the surface of what I am seeing as a change in the way people fantasize about sex.

About six weeks ago, I attended a fall barbeque at a neighbor’s house near my parents. I was visiting them for the weekend, and the family was invited, me included. I spent only about an hour, but I noticed a very interesting dynamic at work.

The host of the barbeque moved to the area less than three years ago. When I lived at home, there was a different family there. I know little about them, other than they politely wave to me when I visit, and the wife had a baby earlier in the summer. But on this day, the male host (husband, and new daddy) was going out of his way to be the perfect host – to certain women. About 30 people attended, mostly couples in the 25-35 range. In my opinion, there were about three hot women, three lower ranking women, and about six average women. While the host hardly (if ever) spoke to or helped his wife, he made the constant rounds to cater to… the average women. He never even approached the hot women, but flirted the best he could under the circumstances with the average women. 

Honestly, it was quite sickening, especially seeing an unmistakable bulge in his pants on several occasions, with his wife no further away than the other side of the yard. On at least two occasions, he had to either sit down or put his hands in his pockets, as he must have realized he was pitching a mean tent. Without the bulges, I would have considered my research somewhat more inconclusive. Another interesting thing was that the woman who received the most attention was one of few that wore shorts, and she had very tan legs. Not spectacular, but tan. It has always been my assumption that men are more attracted to tan women (and no, that is not why I try to remain tan year-round – smile).

While I don’t love the show, I have been finding myself watching HBO on Sunday nights after "The Sopranos" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" to watch "The Mind of the Married Man." The show annoys me (as does the main couple), but many men in my office insist that the thoughts the men have are the absolute norm and truth (minus some of the sexual escapades of the secondary characters). And if you have ever watched this show, look at some of the fantasy objects. Most are definitely not the type of woman that most people would think men fantasized about. Not even close. Two married men are seemingly in lust with a very average co-worker named Missy. A few episodes earlier, the same two men were involved with a different co-worker, again very average and a bit overweight. Yet the fantasies were immense. Other fantasies I have seen this season on the show dealt with teenage babysitters (no Britney Spears here, just your ordinary 16 or 17 year old), and last season, Mickey (the main character) even fantasized about a fellow talk show guest, an "older" woman who looked more like a librarian than a fantasy f***.

So what does this all mean? Are the days of men pleasuring themselves to a naked Penthouse magazine changing toward pleasuring themselves to more attainable fantasies? Yes, I think they are. But I needed more proof. And as I often do, I turned to some of my Internet research buddies. Guys who have read my column over the past year or so, and have helped me on dozens of occasions to assist with prospective topics. In this case, I was careful not to divulge what I was after, but I simply showed them a link with two sets of women pictures and asked which set of pictures they found sexier. Here are the two groups of pictures.

GROUP "A"

GROUP "B"

Out of 30 men who responded back, 21 of them picked the "B" list! That equates to 70%. And some of the comments given also helped to reinforce my theory. Quotes like:

"That ‘A’ list look too phony and airbrush. I’m onto real…"

"The chik on the far left looks like my wife’s friend who I’d like to…"

"The second list leaves more for the imagination.. much sexier…"

"god I would want to f*** any of the ones in b"

And while I doubt this column or theory is anything earth-shattering, and may never be quoted in any sex textbooks, I always welcome your thoughts and opinions!

© Jenn at e-crap.com