As I write this, rumors that the Democrat front-runner John Kerry had an affair with a former intern called Alex Polier are being reported in some major papers. They were posted earlier on the Drudge Report, infamous for breaking the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal.

As yet, there's no, er, hard evidence of hanky-panky; no "smoking gun" (or should that be "steaming cigar"?). Maybe the media will eventually drop the story. Still, considering the Drudge-intern-Democrat connection, it has a definite aura of deja screw.

And it has made me ponder the whole sex scandal issue:

Whenever these stories hit the news, my first feeling is one of pity for the politician. I think, poor guy probably got into politics so that he could seduce young women. Then he discovers it's the one thing he's not allowed to do! How cruel is that?

So, these guys are randy, but they're also smart and usually married. So why the reckless skirt-chasing? Perhaps they don't love their wives yet haven't the courage to leave them. So they engineer a disastrous falling out. To them the younger woman becomes a kind of "escape root". Or maybe they're just hopelessly besotted? Either way, the behavior is strangely compelling.

And speaking of compulsions: What's in it for the young lover? In this case, the babe in question is 24. Kerry is 60 and looks like a cross between Lurch from the Adams Family and Christopher Lee as Dracula. What on earth was she thinking? (And what the hell is his secret?)

Which leads me to another question: Why do we find scandals (particularly involving old men and young women) so fascinating? Perhaps it's just pure voyeurism. Blue-collar types watch tapes of old guys schtupping babes half their age, while the more
high-earning and high-minded like to read about the same activity in the New York Times.

Actually, I think the appeal is more psychological than erotic. Watching people lie is fascinating. Watching them lie about sex is even more so.

And this scandal - like all others - certainly involves a whole mess o' lies. If Kerry's denials are true, then the gossip-mongers were lying. If the rumors are true, he was lying when he denied them. Also, if true, he probably lied to get her into bed, and she lied to herself to go there. And that's just the tip of the vice-berg!

In the end, it's the lying that keeps readers interested, and the story in the news. Arnold Schwarzenegger knew this. That's how he managed to deflate attacks on him during his run for Governor of California by simply 'fessing up, and apologizing for what he'd done in the past.

I think Kerry should learn from that example and admit to the rumors - and any others that might be circulating - even if they are completely unfounded. He should say, "Yep, I did it. Did it with the intern and her 6 girlfriends. And the masked guy in the new Paris Hilton tape? Yours truly... No, that wasn't Justin Timberlake fondling Janet Jackson's
breast. Surprise, surprise - me again! Now can we move on and get to the issues here, people?"

That said, by the time you read this the Kerry scandal may have run out of steam. But one thing's for sure: there'll be another one pulling into the station before too long.

Why? Because of those two eternal certainties: Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. And sex sells.

END.



See more of Matt's politically incorrect rants and seriously twisted characters at:

www.geocities.com/matthaydenwriter