By Matt Hayden
It's a cliché but it's true: life gets faster
and faster. This is due mostly to revolutions in
cyber-technology. Computer operating speeds seem to accelerate
at an exponential rate, and we have no choice but to keep up!
The phenomenon affects all areas of life
-particularly relationships. Online dating, instant chat, SMS
and mobiles make people ever more impatient for intimacy. Hence
the current speed dating craze.
I attended my first event of this kind last week.
This one wasn't just speedy. It was lightning fast! You met six
people a minute. It went for half an hour.
After saying, "Hello, nice to meet... Er, bye!" to one hundred
and eighty women in rapid succession, I was bewildered to say
the least. There were about sixty women I was keen to see again.
But I couldn't remember who was who!
So I ticked every one of the their boxes on the selection form.
Only one of those women ticked mine on hers. She was a pert
blonde named Mimi.
I sent an e-mail to the address I was given the very next day, a
Sunday.
Her reply: "My, you're slow! Let's meet for dinner. How about
six o'clock tonight?"
I called the mobile number she'd included. We met at a French
restaurant in the city.
It turned out she'd already seen seven of the guys from the
night before. She'd had one minute stands with two; ultra-brief
affairs with three, and had married the remaining two. (But that
wasn't a problem. She'd divorced both, so she was single again.)
"Divorced already? Don't you have to wait for the papers to come
through?"
"No," she said. "They SMS them to you now."
Just then her mobile rang. She took it from her purse and purred
with delight upon recognizing the caller's voice.
"Oh, Brad. So nice to hear from you! Let's meet...Yes, now. The
usual place... See you in two!"
She got up to leave.
"Who was that?"
"Brad. An old flame. And he's free again!"
"How old?" I called as she approached the exit.
"A week. Met him at the last speed date. Ciao!"
I noticed a crisp hundred dollar bill on the table. It must have
fallen out when she retrieved her phone from her purse. I
grabbed it, and ran outside in search of Mimi.
I saw her across the street outside a ritzy new cafe. Suddenly a
red Lamborghini pulled up next to her. A strapping young man in
an Armani suit jumped out. They embraced, then walked inside.
"Mimi, you've left a hundred dollars!" I yelled.
"E-mail it to me!"
Forlornly I returned to my table.
Well, she's not going to miss it, I thought. And how could I
e-mail it to her anyway?
So I used it to buy the most expensive bottle of champagne on
the menu. The cost: ninety eight bucks.
Perfect.
I sat at the table, looking forward to my consolation.
But a minute later who should appear before me but Mimi!
She was drying her eyes. "Oh, Matt. I'm so sad. But it just
didn't work between Brad and me. We tried, we really did!"
The waiter appeared with the champagne. Her face broke into a
smile. He uncorked the bottle and filled my glass. Mimi took it
and gulped it all back!
"But now I'm so much happier!" Holding the bottle, she added:
"It's so kind of you. I mean, this stuff is expensive. Sure you
can afford it?"
I was speechless.
"Anyway, it shows you really care. And I'm so glad you decided
to have me back!"
END.
Copyright Matt Hayden August 2004.
www.geocities.com/matthaydenwriter
