The Internet opened a world of potential dating partners I'd probably never met through traditional means. The first time I entered the words "personal ads" into a search engine, dozens of do-it-your-self matchmaking sites popped up.

Virtually all these sites offer an opportunity to screen user profiles, while insuring anonymity for both parties. Anonymity doesn't mean the same as security, however. While some sites require some confirmation before allowing you to register, most sites rely on the integrity of the users. This creates a golden opportunity for a con artist or "kook" to log in and pretend to be someone he/she is not -- and for individuals who are less-than-satisfied with their own reality to invent a new personality.

Despite some potential for abuse, on-line dating has helped millions of men and women initiate great relationships. It sure worked for me.  Oh yes, I had my fill of the "oh baby, come see what daddy's got for you." routine. If what you want is a real life normal everyday relationship, use Internet dating as a tool for introductions, rather than as a medium for conducting an extended on-line relationship.

Here's how I started...

I began by looking within a 50 mile radius of my home.  I figured surely there would be someone there that would enjoy spending time with a great person like me!

I didn't want to date on the net, but meet someone to meet for coffee, a movie, dinner,  you know, real life. I found heaps of men who wanted to chat online, that sexy stuff.  While I like sex as much as the next person, I wanted the complete package. I wanted to find someone who wanted to talk with me, challenge me and love me in every way possible. I wanted face to face interaction.  I have never felt that I needed love at first site, but at least 2nd or 3rd site.   

The first man I chose to meet seemed lovely in his emails and charming over the phone.  I had butterflies when I left to meet him at the coffee shop.  He arrived looking like last week's laundry.  It was the weekend and he hadn't shaved, hadn't showered after working outside all morning and had done nothing to show that this meeting was special.

on to choice #2.

My second date was a bit better.  He arrived at the coffee shop looking quite sharp and had even brought a single red rose.  He tried to be charming and romantic but all he could talk about was his job, a rocket scientist.  The closest I came to understanding was when I'd tell my kids "clean your rooms, it's not rocket science!"

So I decided that distance wasn't the primary factor and placed an ad looking for an intelligent man, a good man. I found one that I thought seemed so perfect, but he lived thousands of miles away from me.  I told myself we'd just be penpals and be done with it and I'd keep looking.  I found myself looking for his mail first when I had several from prospective dates.

We exchanged photos and found ourselves exchanging deeply personal information and feelings.  We told each other things that we'd never told anyone else.  We talked about dating others and the worries we had.  Soon we realized that we needed to meet just to prove that these feelings weren't real.  How could they be?  We'd never met!

How could he be perfect?  I knew I was, but then men can be so difficult at times. I just had to know. I was prepared for anything, well, mostly anything.  I wasn't prepared for him to be perfect.  I needed an excuse to come back home and be happy there.

Despite the expense and time invested in travel, we wanted no pressure. We wanted fun. If anything more happened, well good, but we didn't expect it to.

Did I worry that he might be an axe murderer or stalker?  If I'm truthful I did worry that I'd been given a line, but only a little bit of me worried.  The rest of me was sure he was a great person and would always be a good friend, even from a distance. 

We planned not to spend every waking moment together. I wanted my own hotel room and I wanted the opportunity to shop or get away if I found him a total jerk.  I didn't want to have to say the words, "you're not what I want."

I stepped off the plane and into the arms of my best friend that I'd never met.  He was exactly the same man that I imagined him to be.  I was in heaven.  We DID spend every waking moment together but it was because we couldn't bear being apart for a moment.  Never once that week nor any week since haven't I wanted him by my side.

SAFETY

I'm not an alarmist, as I know the vast majority of people who use on-line dating services are well-adjusted adults, some of them are not. The potential to be hurt by someone you meet through the anonymity of the Internet is greater than if you are introduced by a mutual friend, or if you meet through a work-related or organizational function.

I knew that intelligent people have been duped online by less-than-honest people who are looking for a way to relieve marital boredom, or to con people out of their savings, or who may cause others physical or emotional harm. Everyone who uses Internet dating should follow these simple precautions to help safeguard their privacy and keep out of trouble.

1. Keep it anonymous. When you correspond over an anonymous entity like the Internet, don't divulge biographical details like your full name, address, phone number, place of employment or any financial information. (Many sites let you keep your email address private, too.)
   
2. Arrange your first date for a public place, like a cafe or museum. Don't arrange to meet at your home or your office. This should be the rule throughout your first date. No quiet nighttime walks along a quiet beach or through an empty park. If you want to walk and get to know each other, go where others are strolling, like a boardwalk, promenade, or shopping mall.

   At the end of date, don't travel alone in your date's car. Either let your date escort you part of the way home, or arrange for your own transportation. You are still relative strangers. Why put yourself in a situation that might prove dangerous or uncomfortable?

3. When you and your date exchange full names, you should also exchange personal references. Don't dismiss this advice as too business-like or distrustful. Many reputable dating services and "matchmakers" ask for a list of references when you apply, and expect you to do proper follow-up about a prospective match. Nobody can learn everything about someone's background over the course of a one or two hour meeting. Similarly, you can't take what any stranger tells you at face value -- and your Internet date is, for all intents and purposes, a stranger.

   You should always request references before dating anyone you "meet" through an anonymous entity, and refuse to date anyone who is not willing to give you that information. A reasonable person will understand your caution.

   And be sure to do the follow-up, checking these references before your next date. Don't assume that everything is all right because you've been given a list of names and phone numbers. We know of many "references" who either did not exist, or had never heard of the person who used them as a reference.

4. Even still, don't volunteer too much secretive information on the first few dates. This is good advice even if you're dating someone who was personally recommended by a friend. First dates are not the time to reveal your inner secrets, fears and other intimate details. If the relationship is destined to progress, there will be plenty of time to get to know each other gradually.
5. Keep an eye out for certain signs that the person you are dating may have problems you'd rather not deal with. For example: if your date gives you personal details that don't check out, if he/she behaves in a way that makes you wary or uncomfortable, or boasts about the grandiose things that are going to happen to him/her in the immediate future. 
6. Trust your instinct. If a person seems too weird or scary, or if you sense that you might be in danger, listen to the little voice inside you. Use your judgment and decide if you can politely end the date early, or just leave when you slip away to the restroom. It is better to be safe than sorry.

Internet dating can be a great experience, one that can lead to  a lifetime of happiness. But be aware of the Internet's limitations -- particularly at the outset of a relationship. This will help ensure that your online dating encounter is not only pleasant, but safe and successful as well. It worked for me and it can work for you too!

©2009 SexyAds do not copy without permission