By Paige Norman
Remember those TV
commercials for beauty products that cost a bit more than the
rest? Sure they cost more, the model says. "But I'm worth it!"
When L'Oreal launched that campaign some years ago, it was
startling to hear a woman assert her own value. It was a
strange concept. But it was a wildly successful marketing
strategy. Women stopped in the midst of their chores, lit up
like Christmas, and thought “Hey! That's right!” And next time
they went grocery shopping or shuttled the kids to soccer
practice, they picked up a box of that hair color. And spent a
bit more on it, thank you!
Because they're worth it. Unfortunately, too many people have
trouble seeing over the edge of that box. Though they can
admit they deserve a better dye job, or even a day at the spa,
it's a grudging sort of reward. Like the guy who gave his
plump wife an exercise bike for Christmas, it sends a mixed
message: you're worth improving . . . you need to improve . .
. you don't measure up.
If you tell yourself stories like that, it's no wonder you
don't get dates, or guys treat you badly, or girls dump you.
If YOU think you don't deserve better, how can anyone disagree
It's not a secret if you feel that way, either. People who
have little confidence in themselves think they're not very
important, and they don't expect others to like them or
remember them. This makes them uncertain about other people's
motives, so they can't really trust anyone. If someone lets
them down, they assume it must be because of their own
unimportance. They tend to work hard at proving themselves or
impressing people, and they can be pretty sensitive about it.
They may, without realizing it, put people down or blame
others for their own shortcomings, always trying to make
themselves look better. Not very attractive, though, is it?
People with low self-esteem think their assessment is firmly
based on reality. After all, they can't get dates, or they've
been stood up, or dumped, or otherwise mistreated. More than
once. They're not rich. They lost a job or haven't found one.
They're too fat, they're too thin; or else they look pretty
good (if they do say so), but they have to work awfully hard
at it. Maybe they're not smart enough, or maybe they're
top-heavy in the brain area.
But if they judged other people by the same standards they set
themselves, they'd never let themselves hear the end of it!
How unfair is that? Isn't it even a trifle arrogant, to think
they should meet higher standards than anyone else? The
reality is that every life, including your own, is unique and
Self-confidence is sexy. Just believing in your own worthiness
is tremendously attractive. You know it's true: you're most
likely to meet someone when you're not looking, for the simple
reason that when you're not concerned about the impression
you're making or how likeable you are, your self-doubts and
So, stop doubting yourself. People are looking for the gift
inside the package. Whenever you're inclined to shrug off the
old saw about what's inside being what counts, just imagine a
beautifully wrapped and ribboned box with nothing in it.
Go on, ask for that date. Be sure to respect your own needs
and feelings, as well as those of your companion, and expect
to be appreciated in return.
As the lady said: you're worth it.