You're worth it!
By Paige Norman

Remember those TV commercials for beauty products that cost a bit more than the rest? Sure they cost more, the model says. "But I'm worth it!"

When L'Oreal launched that campaign some years ago, it was startling to hear a woman assert her own value. It was a strange concept. But it was a wildly successful marketing strategy. Women stopped in the midst of their chores, lit up like Christmas, and thought “Hey! That's right!” And next time they went grocery shopping or shuttled the kids to soccer practice, they picked up a box of that hair color. And spent a bit more on it, thank you!

Because they're worth it. Unfortunately, too many people have trouble seeing over the edge of that box. Though they can admit they deserve a better dye job, or even a day at the spa, it's a grudging sort of reward. Like the guy who gave his plump wife an exercise bike for Christmas, it sends a mixed message: you're worth improving . . . you need to improve . . . you don't measure up.

If you tell yourself stories like that, it's no wonder you don't get dates, or guys treat you badly, or girls dump you. If YOU think you don't deserve better, how can anyone disagree with you?

It's not a secret if you feel that way, either. People who have little confidence in themselves think they're not very important, and they don't expect others to like them or remember them. This makes them uncertain about other people's motives, so they can't really trust anyone. If someone lets them down, they assume it must be because of their own unimportance. They tend to work hard at proving themselves or impressing people, and they can be pretty sensitive about it. They may, without realizing it, put people down or blame others for their own shortcomings, always trying to make themselves look better. Not very attractive, though, is it?

People with low self-esteem think their assessment is firmly based on reality. After all, they can't get dates, or they've been stood up, or dumped, or otherwise mistreated. More than once. They're not rich. They lost a job or haven't found one.  They're too fat, they're too thin; or else they look pretty good (if they do say so), but they have to work awfully hard at it. Maybe they're not smart enough, or maybe they're top-heavy in the brain area.

But if they judged other people by the same standards they set themselves, they'd never let themselves hear the end of it! How unfair is that? Isn't it even a trifle arrogant, to think they should meet higher standards than anyone else? The reality is that every life, including your own, is unique and valuable.

Self-confidence is sexy. Just believing in your own worthiness is tremendously attractive. You know it's true: you're most likely to meet someone when you're not looking, for the simple reason that when you're not concerned about the impression you're making or how likeable you are, your self-doubts and neediness disappear.

So, stop doubting yourself. People are looking for the gift inside the package. Whenever you're inclined to shrug off the old saw about what's inside being what counts, just imagine a beautifully wrapped and ribboned box with nothing in it.

Go on, ask for that date. Be sure to respect your own needs and feelings, as well as those of your companion, and expect to be appreciated in return.

As the lady said: you're worth it.