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Replying
appropriately to Personal Ad Responses
by Doc Hunny
Now that you have a feel for SexyAds and
you have your profile, photo and personal ad all sorted out,
written and published, the next thing you want to happen is to
get some responses.
You can expect three types of response.
The first correspondence to expect is internal mail, messages
and relevant advertising from SexyAds, the second and third
types are direct replies to your ad. The first mail will be
internal messages from SexyAds, such as login details, account
information and other messages in regard to your membership,
or exclusive services that SexyAds may offer. You should NEVER
receive spam (unwanted email) from your SexyAds
membership. Only existing SexyAds members can contact
you via your nickname@sexyads.com
address. Your real address will never be given out to
anyone. If you get spam, it's from an existing member
and admin really wants to know about that. If you have
any questions about whether an email you've received is
inappropriate, simply send a copy to support@sexyads.com
The second type is good mail. These are
positive responses to your SexyAds ad. This is what you wrote
your ad for! You will know when you read your responses
whether the respondent is a 'yes' or a 'no' But there is a
sort of
'etiquette' in answering emails whether they are a yes or a no
that goes beyond gut feeling. Following this unspoken
etiquette can earn you a lot of respect.
When someone first attempts to make
contact with you, they write down what they feel is
appropriate to initiate contact from you and press send. The
email whizzes off 'somewhere in cyberspace' and they have no
idea how, or even
if it will get to you; what you as the recipient will think of
them and their attempted communication and whether in fact you
will even respond.
One annoying thing about the internet is
a pervasive apathy about responding to email. The attitudes
are either black or white and you will strike people who
respond to all mail, or others who seem to have a great deal
of difficulty responding to any mail at all.
I can never stress highly enough, that
it is common courtesy and good manners to respond to all mail.
Irrespective of the nature, content or tone of the response,
just respond! It is much nicer to be aware that the person you
think is sensational was impressed with you and is intending
to respond, really s/he is, and plans on writing you a nice
email next week. Or else s/he is not interested and
tells you politely rather than leaving you in a looming
silence that says nothing at all about his/her intent and
constantly has you wondering if you will ever hear anything at
all, ever!
The first email is an introduction. The
person writing to you ideally should impart enough of him or
herself to elicit a positive response in you. Listen to your
gut feeling here, it is important. Then people start doing
what is commonly referred to as email ping-pong. For anybody
looking for a long term relationship, this is the 'getting to
know you' part and very important. The reverse applies in a
casual or short term sexual relationship. People will state
just that in their personal ad: that they want sex, not email ping-pong.
Your respondent will send a first or
what is the introductory email to you, and you may think that
s/he sounds interesting and respond in kind. The second email
from this same person is likely to be more enthusiastic and
inclined to be more open, provided you've also imparted some
information, and answered any important questions that may
have been asked. No need for an epic, be succinct and to the
point. Be positive and cheerful, and don't be afraid
to ask for a photograph first up if the person doesn't have
one on their SexyAds profile. Men and women who know what
they want and are not afraid to ask for it are very sexy.
The third and last type o mail you'll
receive is not so good mail, or
inappropriate or unwelcome responses to your ad. Expect to get
these. Try not to be insulted by these
[even if accompanied by a graphic attachment] the person
mailing you is selling themselves the best way they know how.
To their way of thinking the mail they have sent to you is the jackpot and you
should be suitably flattered. You may feel like running
screaming into the distance, so resist the urge.
Here's a tip from my own personal
experience. I ran an explicit ad myself three years ago and I
got over 85 responses per day, many of them rude or
inappropriate. I answered most of them with the simple phrase
"Thank you for responding to my profile. I have read your
letter carefully, and I thank you for taking the time to get
in touch. I am sorry but you are not the sort of person I am
seeking right now. Good Luck with your search. Yours..."
I may have also included a comment about something raised in
the letter as well.
A lot of people mailed back again
thanking me for at least bothering to respond. A couple of
people persisted and sent more mail [which I ignored] or tried
a different approach hoping to get me to respond. It was the
best way I found to sort the wheat from the chaff and of the
people who responded a second time, I ended up with a handful
of people who I proceeded to get to know and in some cases
meet. So as far as ads go, that ad received close to 1600
responses in six weeks. Many were inappropriate but others
very funny and entertaining, and it achieved the desired
result, and that is what placing ads is all about.
So if you have the right approach, your
SexyAds personal ad can be the start of many great
things.
©2009 SexyAds do not copy
without permission |
