Finding a Same Sex Partner

This article is about men finding men and women finding women as sex/relationship partners.  You CAN "work the personals" and get great results in finding one night or long term partners. Finding love online can allow you to find many more partners than you can find in gay/lesbian bars and clubs.  Many just won't go to these places, but they'd love to meet you.

There is a difference in the amount of work involved for men seeking men and women seeking women online.  While I'd love to say it's equal, women have a much more difficult task.  So often we'll find a woman placing an ad for women seeking women only to find out she's really looking for someone to "perform" with for her husband or lover.  In our opinion, this is NOT women seeking women, but couples seeking women.  Most men seeking men are looking for just that, so the process is much simpler.

Many men are  more cautious in advertising than women, because more men are living a double life or so heavily closeted they can only seek short term (mostly sexual) relationships.  Those looking for long term relationships are usually out and with a healthy self esteem, and less likely to have the same sense of urgency. Many guys ads specifically state what they want and identify themselves as being out or not. You can expect about 90% of males advertising on the web are not out, and insist on discretion.

Single Women seek more emotional and friendship based relationships. Many single bisexual women who are part of a heterosexual couple are often advertising for a sexual partner so she and husband or lover can live out their fantasy of the magical threesome. If you're a woman looking solely for women, my advice is to ignore these as you're more likely to be disappointed.

How Do I Start?

Write a good ad.  I know that sounds simplistic, but that's the heart of it.  Once you've written something about yourself and what you're hoping to find, you've created an identify.  You might answer someone else's ad and the first thing he or she will do is read what you've written about yourself.  If it appears to meet their needs and desires, you'll most likely get a response.  So write the ad!  

Next upload a photo of yourself.  There are ways to protect your identify by turning your head, blurring, etc., if privacy is a big issue. The tough decision is which photo?  What sort of photo would cause YOU to reply?  I'm amazed at the number of  nude "deer in headlights" photos online.  These are not attractive.  If you don't look happy being naked and sexy, that's the impression you'll give to someone looking at your photo.  So, don't be naked, or put a smile on that face!

Browse the ads, answer as many as you think fit your desires.  It's all a matter of numbers, folks. The more you write to the better your chances of finding just the right person (or persons!).  You can write one response and send it to heaps of people, and adjust it a bit for every ad depending upon what the other person has written.  (if you don't know how to cut and paste, ask someone at SexyAds and the staff will help you.

Risks

Exchange email and talk on the phone to get a better idea if this person meets your needs.  It's must easier to say "no thanks" via email or on the phone while you're still anonymous. If ANY warning signs exist, keep looking.  There are heaps of people out there, so missing out on one or two won't hurt your chances for love and might save you tons of grief.

Please! Once you've decided this one is for you, don't meet someone through a personal ad in your home on the first meeting. I don't care how big or intelligent or whatever you are..  it's just not safe and it's not sane. Meet in a public place and see if you like this person you're willing to share your sexuality with.  If this man or woman are worth it, they'll respect you for being sure before you drop your drawers.

Safe Sex

Remember when you have sex with this new person, you're ultimately at risk from every person they've slept with in the past year.  Your life is too valuable, so whether you're gay, lesbian or heterosexual, be smart and be safe.

Joys

It's not all warnings!  Many millions of people have met new partners online and have wonderful stories of love, romance and sex that will bring goosebumps to even the most cynical out there.