|
 Setting
the Mood
By
The Sex Coach
Men often face the challenge of
creating enough sexual hunger in a woman that she'll want sex.
How you approach this problem has much to do with how old the
relationship is, its sexual history, and both participants'
current mood. If you've never been in bed with the person,
your approach will be much different than if you've already
done it two hundred times. However, here are some basics that
you can apply to improve most situations, even those you think
are pretty hot already.
Be clean
Men often expect great cosmetic preparation from their sexy
sweeties. They like intriguing make-up, fresh breath, sexy
fashions, the whole bit. Many women cannot even enjoy sex if
they feel as if they haven't adequately prepared their bodies
for sex. Turnabout is fair play. Men need to become aware of
their own body's sex appeal. Take a shower, especially if
you've just been working up a sweat or getting grimy. Soap and
toothpaste are marvelous aphrodisiacs for her. Also, dress a
step above total geek. This doesn't mean that you can never be
spontaneous in your filthy tee-shirt and baseball cap, but it
does mean to make a fresh impression whenever you can.
Create safety
Especially during new relationships, sex is often filled with
great gobs of anxiety. It may be performance anxiety, worries
about pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections, fears
about getting caught in compromising positions, and concerns
about what having sex means to the future of the relationship.
The list of anxieties is long, varied, and personal. The more
safety you create, the more inviting sex becomes. Take pains
to alleviate her worries and reap the reward in sizzling sex.
(This is a two-way street. Men like to feel safe, too.)
Sweeten the atmosphere
Men often think of atmosphere as a nice set of jiggling tits
who needs ambiance when you can look at them babies? Women are
often more wooed by their environment. Wine, candlelight or
other mood lighting, a crackling fire, hot tubs or romantic
baths/showers, fresh flowers, clean sheets, and silky lotions
are all elements that help a sensuous woman ease into the
mood. These goodies add extra stimulation for the senses. Keep
this in mind: Building sensuality heightens the emotional
intensity and physical appeal of the sex that follows. So, add
atmosphere to the scene that she likes. A man in a long-term
relationship should make it a priority to find out what
romantic frills his lover likes so he can surprise her every
now and then.
Make love to her mind
The more you remember this, the better you'll be as a lover
turn on a woman's mind, and her body will follow. Arousing her
heart and mind is the key to letting nature work its magic
with her body. "As a woman", a professional woman says, "I
appreciate a man's brain size. If he makes me laugh, makes me
think, or listens to me, I feel much more inclined to go to
bed with him than an Adonis with a big cock and no brain."
Chances are that if you think back to the boring times you've
had in bed, you'll recognize that your brain wasn't
stimulated. Even visual sex appeal is mental because it's your
brain screaming, 'Va-va-va-voom!' So if there's lack of
passion, arousal, or mood, it's a brain thing. To get to yes,
tantalize her mind. You need to get to know a woman well to
truly arouse her mind, especially once the novelty of your sex
wears thin. Get to know what fantasies turn her on, what sex
words she likes, what she longs for in lovemaking (and in
life). Then help her realize her dreams.
Create suspense and mystery
Women love safety, but when they feel safe, they also crave
being teased and inspired. They want to be taken to heights
they've never been before. In a fun way, keep her guessing
what your next move is. Plan a few pleasant surprises. Take
her out dancing or to a nice romantic restaurant. Send her an
unexpected love letter. Vary how you hug, hold, and kiss her.
Don't use the same warn-out seduction moves or love talk. You
probably have similar desires. If you fantasize about wild
women, you yearn to be taken on an erotic adventure. Your
woman could easily feel the same way. Take a hint from that
and plan some tricks of your own.
Sensuous Touching
More than men, women read meaning into how they're touched.
It's important to find out how the woman you want to arouse
likes to be touched. Heavy-handed pawing does nothing to
stimulate a woman who enjoys silky-smooth caresses, and vice
versa. Men, and especially men in porn, make a beeline for a
woman's tits and pussy, as if that'll get her hot. Hey, slow
down. I haven't met a woman yet who doesn't like to have her
neck nibbled and to have her back stroked, such as in a long
hug. This treatment often sets a woman on fire more than the
frontal nipple attack. You can do that later. Meanwhile, try
some over-the-clothes fondling and the slow build-up of erotic
tension. Some women love breast fondling over their clothes
than underneath their bra because they like the friction of
the nipple against the bra's fabric. Look for other hot spots.
Some women love having their earlobes nibbled. Some go mad
with licking inside their ears. Some women go wild if you lick
their hands. But beware: each woman is different. It's worth
the effort to discover where your honey's secret spots are
located, especially if you want her to go wild in your bed.
Moreover, it never hurts to go slower than even she wants.
Whenever she hints, suggests, or begs you to speed up the
pace, you know for sure that she wants it. Then your breast or
genital stroking rewards her. She'll be more fully horny and
emotional by then, and her orgasmic response will blast
through her with much more force.
.Editor's Note: The Sex Coach
welcomes feedback from all his readers, whether you're a rookie
or a veteran. You can email him with your thoughts at:
Pillowtongue@yahoo.com |
