| Be
Proud of Your Penis
By The Sex Coach
Many men grow up
with a stunning love-hate relationship with their penises.
They love the incredible pleasure that those organs provide.
At times, the whole
world revolves around the awesome sensations the throbbing
penis produces.
A
dick fit snugly inside the woman a man adores provokes feelings
of awesome magnificence,
stuff of the gods.
Just the same, a
man's cock takes on a constant and vicious bombardment
of hateful, spiteful feelings,
too. A penis that goes limp at the moment of
truth becomes a quick and bitter
enemy, like a football player who fumbles away
certain victory with one lousy
dropped ball.
Men often find that
the sex drive careens them out of control; so powerful
is it that it has tainted if not ruined the careers of many
powerful men caught
with their pants down.
That
pleasure-seeking tendril can coerce the brain
into making wildly poor judgments.
In the sexually vitriolic social climate
of our times, Mr Happy has
a severe public relations problem.
A Crisis in Pride
I believe that many
men suffer from a fundamental yet insidious lack of
sexual pride and respect. We
aren't taught to behold our penises as beautiful,
miraculous, sacred organs. Instead,
we're trained to feel embarrassed and
ashamed about those phallic
troublemakers.
Culturally,
heterosexual men generally expect women to represent sexual
beauty. Whether they're sweet
girls Mama would like or strippers exhibiting
raw sexuality or
prostitutes who command hefty prices for services rendered,
women are perceived much more than
men as wielding the power of sexual attraction.
Women in the sex
media are trained to present and display their sexual organs
with great fanfare. Men rent or buy these videos or visit the
web sites, and
along with the sexual stimulation they derive, they often
think, "You're a
worthless loser for jerking off."
Men often harbor
memories of women who've insulted or degraded them with
some variation on "You only
want sex. You only think with your cock."
To
make matters worse, sex media often depict male characters who
blatantly humiliate women, like
shoving a dick up a babe's throat and saying,
"You love it, bitch"
while she's gagging.
Displays
of degradation don't help
men feel wildly wonderful
about their male sexuality.
Quite simply, there
are very few places where men get positive reinforcement
for the beauty of their penises. We often have to learn on
our own how to enjoy
a healthy pride in our bodies.
Being a Real Man
in Bed
It's a cliche, but
some men still think that fucking like 'a real man'
means mounting a woman and
pounding her senseless.
A
man who doesn't genuinely
think fondly of his penis makes
love with damaged goods. He's ashamed or embarrassed
of the flesh he's slipping inside the woman he loves. He
thinks she's doing
him a big favor letting him enter her.
A man who has
learned to appreciate his own sexual beauty makes love with
a whole different mental attitude.
He gives a gift to his lover. He enjoys how
he uses his cock -- and, in fact, his whole body -- to express
his love.
His sexual
self-confidence excites his lover.
True
Self-Appreciation
It all comes back
down to thinking, the skill we discussed in the last Sex
Coach column.
Think for a moment
how you like to see women respond sexually with their
bodies. What do they do that you
like? Do they hold their breasts in certain
ways or pose their pussies in
certain positions? What do they think of their
bodies?
Of course, you can
also learn from what you don't like as well. Do you
wish your girlfriend would be more
overtly sexy with her body? Do you wish she'd
show more feminine pride? Is she
ashamed of her body, and does that upset you?
Take a look at how
you feel -- good and bad -- about how your partner presents
herself sexually, and then think about yourself in those same
areas. Of the things
she does that you like, do you do a masculine equivalent?
Would you be willing
to? As for what you don't like, how do you fare in that same
department?
Of course, a
powerful coup against being ashamed of your penis would
be putting
the love in your self-love. As you masturbate, think about how
beautiful your cock is. Use
fantasy. Use emotion. Use logic. Use whatever works
to drive the point home
that your erection is a magnificent work of nature, as
appealing to a woman who loves you
as her pussy is to you.
Stroke it as if you
love it -- until you do love it. This may be a case of
fake it till you make it.
Here's where
creative visualization comes in handy. As you sensuously
masturbate, picture in your mind
scenes where your erect penis delights your
lover. If you're currently without
a lover, imagine one. Use your ingenuity
to explore your male sexual
pride and to visualize how an ideal man makes love.
If you watch porn
for erotic stimulation, appreciate the male beauty, too.
It doesn't make you gay to admire someone else's dick being
licked and stroked.
It may help you see that there's a lot for your lover to
appreciate when she
oohs and ahhs over your full monty.
If you're
particularly gutsy and your honey likes the idea, take it
a step
farther and masturbate in her presence. Let her watch you. Let
her cuddle with
you as you stroke yourself. Let her see how much you respect
your penis.
You may be quite
surprised to see how much this turns her on.
At other times, when
you slip your dick inside your sweetheart, spend a
few moments thinking about the
gift of sexual beauty you are giving her. Recall
your visualizations of how an
ideal man makes love. You can become that man
whenever you want. Watch it change
your whole attitude about what it means to
be a real man.
Good luck!
Editor's Note: The Sex Coach
welcomes feedback from all his readers, whether you're a rookie
or a veteran. You can email him with your thoughts at:
Pillowtongue@yahoo.com
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