| One
Man's Meat…
By
Sonja Katz
Now,
first off, let me apologize to all the Richards out there, as
I've known some to be real hard-heads. But when I received an
invitation to check out floppydicks.com, I had to know: Who
the heck wants to see pics of soft dicks? I mean, what's the
point?
Then,
I remembered, or thought I did. I wasn't sure where I'd heard
it, but asked a gay friend of mine, if it was true that men of
his particular persuasion preferred to see photos of other men
in a flaccid, rather than erect, state.
When
he stopped laughing, he asked me in an incredulous tone, just
where the hell I'd gotten that information. Sometimes, even I
can't figure out how I pick up these things.
But
I can tell you one thing: Some of the guys on floppydicks.com
don't seem sure what they're supposed to be doing. Some of
them look like they've got to be hard, or they have their
appendages taped to something very rigid, propping those
floppy things straight up in the air. Some of them look like
they had to have just been at full attention, but were now
back to watching the football game, or some other distraction.
However,
lots more of these pictures just plain leave you guessing.
What's
that? Why's he wet? Is that jewelry, or a tattoo? Wonder where
he got that garter belt? Looks like this one might be tucked
under the guy while he's seated on a saddle, or something.
Wouldn't that hurt like hell?
These
questions of course, stimulated my curiosity right away. For a
much longer time than I'd planned, I might add, but then
there's almost nothing hotter, I think, than a man
manipulating his own manhood to fruition. Unfortunately, this
was a slightly more deflating experience, as it all seemed
after the fact, like I arrived too late for the show.
I'd
always thought that women need more mental than direct visual
imagery to get going, but I have to say, that the nosiness
factor kicked in full throttle and anyone watching me watching
my screen might imagine I'd never seen a penis before in my
entire life.
However,
I felt, it was necessary to observe this stuff very carefully
for the journalistic integrity of this column. So, I thrust on
with my research, pouring through the pictures ten at a time.
Eventually, I found, not even a high-speed connection could
get me to the next ten quick enough for my taste.
It's
amazing to me: Men don't seem to have any compunction about
showing off their penises to the world, no matter how the rest
of their body looks. And, what variety! From the very long to
the incredibly tiny, angles beyond anything I've even imagined
before - it was like a buffet of the bizarre, but each one in
a "Here I am, glad to meet ya" pose.
Lots
of these dicks were barely protruding from under gargantuan
bellies. Some look like they could never penetrate anything,
even if erect. Most all of the small ones, were presented in a
manner that made me think their owners took great pride in the
fact that they're so small, kind of like men who have very
tiny little teacup-sized dogs.
(Note:
I am the owner of a giant class dog.)
Some
of the long ones had turns sharp enough for a back seat driver
to become alarmed.
It’s
nice not to be shy about these things, I suppose. I mean it's
the way they were created, and why shouldn't they be proud to
stand up and be counted - even if they're lying down on the
job? Or, standing on their heads, or kneeling down with their
butts in the air, dangling their dongs between stocking'd
legs?
…
It's just that - and I'm not bragging here - I've seen a lot
of penises in my life, and not many of the ones pictured on
floppydicks.com seem to come even close to what I've seen in
my experience. Maybe my experience isn't well-rounded, or just
maybe it's just that the average schmoe doesn't pose in these
contortions. Maybe it's the lighting. Maybe it's all done with
mirrors, I dunno. The whole thing just screws with my mind.
I
guess it's simply that I prefer penises that don't evoke a
"what the hell is that?" response, but I'm all for a
"live and let live" world; to each her own. Just
because some prefer their meat well done doesn't mean there
are those who shouldn't enjoy it (very) rare.
©
2003 Cirious Business - Do not copy or reproduce without
permission. Sonja's
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