Decorating Tips

By Sonja Katz

Have you ever checked out the Forum section on SexyAds? I like discussion boards better than live chat; there are only so many times I can say "hello" without feeling like an old Chatty Cathy doll with a pull-string coming from its neck.

You know what I mean. Someone enters a chat room, and everyone types a hearty greeting. Always feeling obligated to return their courtesy, I dutifully do the same, worried that I might miss seeing someone come in, and then be judged rude by the others. 

I'm not trying to make a bad joke about pressure, but what if I have to go to the bathroom, or something? While I'm busy, someone might direct some chat my way, and think I'm ignoring them. To be truthful, I doubt anyone would notice if I left without saying anything, as my contribution seems more or less like a monologue, most of the time. In fact, everyone seems to be talking to themselves, with little acknowledgement of each other's statements at all.  

If they're still there, that is. Most of the time, I suspect the majority of names listed in any given chat room are off in a private wing of the site somewhere, having some sort of very advanced salutation session. I'm sure I'm light-years from achieving this sort of discourse. 

The posts in the Forum are all signed by the various users taking part in whatever theme or string the discussion has taken. But the really interesting thing I noticed, are the signatures themselves, or more to the point, the accompanying profile pictures of the authors. I do mean, quite literally, profile. 

A woman posts a heartfelt question of utmost importance about how she should confront her spouse, whom she believes is cheating on her, online. She's sincere, and I'm hoping that people will be the same when they write in answer. Soon, there are many replies, but as I look at the most sensitive one, I realize it's the poster's photo of someone getting it in the ass. "Hmmm," I think to myself. "Would I be able to take their answer to heart?" 

Then, someone asked the best way to woo women online -- how he can be taken seriously. He sounded so nice, and maybe a little bit gullible. Again, there were many replies, but the one I liked the best was the one whose picture sported what must have been an 18-incher, which he gripped like a Louisville Slugger.

 Maybe my perception had something to do with the Padres kicking the Dodger's collective asses this weekend, but somehow, I don't think so.

I was no longer able to concentrate on the questions; I just wanted to troll and see who answered. Not to see what they had to say, necessarily, but I was definitely interested in their profiles. And they say men are the ones who are more visual.

 All I know for sure, is that I never had this as fun in the chatrooms as I do in the forums. Maybe if they hung some artwork in there, and people would employ their interpersonal skills beyond saying "hello."

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Sonja's Previous Three Sojourns

An Irreverent Look

Two Minute Warning

Finding the G(eo) Spot