“The
Dom & Sub Routine”
(Two different worlds)
By
Brandon Tanner
There
are many levels of D&S and there are personal rules to
consider from novice to those who practice the so-called
24/7. What do you expect? How much can you deliver? What do
you get?
These
questions and more will be covered in this article with
experienced insight from my wife, Mistress Loren. We offer a
D&S service on our Web site for those who want their
session video taped. You’d be amazed at some of the requests
we get from our ads before
we send the client to our site. Loren, give us your take on
some of those E-mails.
LOREN:
First of all (she leans forward and pats my hand) I use the
title Mistress only
in the role of the Domme.
TANNER:
And in that role it fits you to the Max.
LOREN:
The responses to our D&S ads are as diversified as you
might imagine. Some men send E-mail, all in caps, offering to
pay high fees to dominate me. The ad (She chuckles) clearly
states I’m always the Domme. Apparently, these guys don’t
read well. Others ask if I’ll switch,
of course, I will not.
TANNER:
How do you handle them – just blow them off?
LOREN:
No, never, I’m always polite. I send them the URL to the
site and ask them to get back to me from there.
TANNER:
Does it work, I mean, do they get the picture and set up an
appointment?
LOREN:
Sometimes, more often than not, I never hear from them again.
That brings to mind a point I’d like to make, if I may.
TANNER:
Please do.
LOREN:
Gentlemen, when you answer a personals ad make sure you’ve
read it carefully. If the lady has asked for a man of thirty
five & you’re pushing fifty – don’t fudge it –
forget it! If the Mistress says she’s the Domme always,
don’t ask her to switch.
In other words – stop wasting each others time.
TANNER:
Good point. We have an ad running on Sexy
Ads right now that clearly states we’re looking for
couples for fun. What’s happening with that?
LOREN:
(She shakes her head and laughs). Actually, I can’t figure
it out. Eight out of ten replies are from single men trying to
get us to consider a threesome.
TANNER:
Do you respond to those E-mails?
LOREN:
No, not any longer, I simply delete them. I mean, let’s get
real here – if I wanted a threesome, I’d have an ad for
that purpose. Get with it guys, all the women who have ads on Sexy
Ads have something specific in mind. If you don’t fit
– back off!
TANNER:
I think you just pissed off a few hundred men.
LOREN:
Good – I hope I did it well. However, let me stipulate. Over
all, the guys are great. The men I entertain understand the
program from the moment of contact and respond accordingly.
TANNER:
Okay, let’s get back to the specifics of D&S. My opening
line addressed the fact that there are many levels of the game
… and basically it is just that – a game.
LOREN:
“You’re absolutely right, a game – a fun game and I love
getting into it. After all, it’s what it is – an exciting
sexual experience. I offer my clients an hour or two of
domination and meet most of their fantasies. May I get right
down to cases here?
TANNER:
Be my guest … actually, you are.
LOREN:
Let me address the one area of D&S that really floors me.
TANNER:
Will the editor accept this?
LOREN:
Maureen has an open mind.
TANNER:
Go ahead.
LOREN:
The male sub who wants the old 24/7 routine. You remember Tony
from California?
TANNER:
Tony the slave he
called himself. He had his good points, but we never got
together with him.
LOREN:
No and never could. The man was a con artist. He wanted to
move in with us and have us support him while he would be a
sex-slave to me twenty-four-seven! What a scam. You’re my
24/7, Sweetheart, we’re married.
TANNER:
Still, it’s unrealistic to consider a 24/7 sexual
relationship. I can’t manage that … you can’t either.
LOREN:
For a few hours maybe, but 24/7 – no way. It’s a fantasy,
in the head – both heads, if you know what I mean. (This
time she laughs real loud).
TANNER:
Let’s look at the various levels of D&S. How do we
address that issue?
LOREN:
I’m sure many of your readers are experienced in one way or
another, but we should consider those who aren’t – the novice.
You remember when I did my first Domme video?
TANNER:
You bet, “Party Of
Three” – we shot it in California. Not only did you
play the Domme, but we made it a threesome and you were great.
LOREN:
If I was, it was because I had lots of help, gentle help. You
directed and my partner was experienced at playing the Sub.
Without that gentle support, I couldn’t have done it.
TANNER:
Afterward what was your evaluation?
LOREN:
Sensations … feelings, all kinds of feelings. I had crossed
over into a new area of sexuality. It was the first time I
played a Domme and my first real
experience with two men at the same time. I was in a natural
high and every part of me, as a woman, was alive!
TANNER:
What happened after I shut down the cameras and lights?
LOREN:
You want me to tell that?
TANNER:
Yes, I do.
LOREN:
You and I fucked until dawn …
TANNER:
We sure did and it was your sexuality that made that possible.
You were heightened by the Domme experience and you felt
safe in the hands of the two men even though you
were the Domme.
LOREN:
Yes, I was overcome with pleasure and I knew I was always
safe, Domme or not.
TANNER:
Okay, let’s look at switching.
You won’t, but some women want to. How do you address that
issue?
LOREN:
My first comment is, know your partner and are you up to switching? Set the ground rules ahead of time. Be sure your partner
understands your limitations. Be affirmative about a code-word. It should be a word not remotely involved with the act
you’re involved in. Something like French
fries or Snow Flakes
would be appropriate. When those words are spoken, the action stops immediately.
TANNER:
What if you’re the Domme, should the man have code-words set
up in advance?
LOREN:
Absolutely. Some men who hire me to dominate them require
substantial pain, which I call limits on, and I need to know
when enough is enough.
TANNER:
Do you really get requests from clients who want toys in their
butt?
LOREN:
You know I do! (She laughs loud again).
TANNER:
For the article please.
LOREN:
Yes, many of my clients want toys used on them and request me
to wear a strap-on
to give them anal pleasure. It’s their call and I go along.
However, I exercise caution and a gentle approach. You’ve
captured several such sessions on video tape.
TANNER:
That I have indeed and it always makes me wonder why the hell
they want that kind of activity.
LOREN:
To each his own, my Dear.
TANNER:
Yeah, I guess. What about using toys on you in a Domme
session? I know you’ve allowed it to happen.
LOREN:
I do when I trust the client and know in advance he’s going
to use toys and that it’s part of his “Domme”
fantasy. A lot of guys try to sneak
things into a Domme
session and I cut them off right away.
TANNER:
Any problems in that area?
LOREN:
Not really, I’m in charge … and besides, you’re always
there.
TANNER:
Yeah, right. How do we sum this up?
LOREN:
My call?
TANNER:
All yours.
LOREN:
If you’re a novice
at D&S don’t get involved with an experienced pro unless
you can trust him. Yes, I’m addressing women
here. Be alert to signs of over
domination or insist you
are the Domme and be firm about it. Do NOT compromise unless
you’re sure of
your partner. Never take on a SUB without a third party
nearby. Be sure your limitations are clear before
the session begins. Rule of thumb – know as much about your
partner (in advance) as you can. DO NOT TAKE CHANCES!
TANNER:
You’re tough.
LOREN:
We women have to be, you know that.
TANNER:
I do and I back you one-hundred percent. I hope all you ladies
and gentlemen gained something from this article. |
