That
First Date!
Will you get a second
chance?
By Brandon Tanner
It can be VERY exciting to meet in
person for the first time! The
anticipation, the butterflies, the sexual urges are just the
beginning!
Then
there are the nerves associated with the images you have built
up of the person you're about to meet, not to mention the
expectations you have created of yourself. Will he or she be
everything you imagine them to be? Will you live up to the
picture you might have portrayed of yourself?
Obviously,
this can be nerve-racking. Which is precisely why Loren
and I sat down to give you a few tips from separate points of view.
We’ll share concepts and ideas which should give you a wide-angle
picture of a first-date event that can turn out positive.
Unfortunately, men
are the ones who trip over their own feet and kill any chance
of a second date.
Everything
begins with the ad you place in SexyAds.
We’ll be addressing both men and women and, hopefully, show
each of you how to step off on the right foot. Keep in mind; before
you make any
contact, everything is in a state of expectation and images
running around in your head. Those
very ideas can get you in trouble right from the start. I know
– been-there-done-that!
Let’s
welcome Loren to our discussion.
LOREN:
“Hi.” She points her finger at Brandon. “Thank God I
came along to save you from yourself.”
TANNER:
You won’t get an argument from me, I’ve already admitted
to suffering from inserting, foot-in-mouth
on several occasions.
LOREN:
“You did indeed,
but it wasn’t life-threatening. We made it through our first
date and ended up married. I guess we did something right.”
TANNER:
Yes, an’ that’s what we need to express to our readers in
this article. Writing to someone and talking on the phone is a
world away from actually meeting for the first time.
LOREN:
“Exactly. There’s a confidence in your manner when
you’re chatting on the phone, or in a chat-room
for that matter. And when you’re writing E-mail back and
forth you have time to think out what you’re saying. You can
easily lift yourself up to another level and create an image
that might be a tad inflated.”
TANNER:
Did I do that?
LOREN:
“You did … several times, but I was expecting it. However,
I made a mental note to wait-and-see.”
TANNER:
Excuse me – did you not do the same?
LOREN:
“Yes, I did. I wanted to paint the perfect image and be just
right for you. I told little white-lies
to get you more interested and curious. As it turned out, you
found me attractive to you in ways I never thought of. That
surprised me completely.”
TANNER:
It was your legs, Babe … they are the best ever!
LOREN:
“Thank you. That’s just what we’re talking about here.
You found something that turned you on I never even thought
of. Most men I’ve been with go for my boobs because
they’re big and actually real. You also had asked me if
calling me Babe was
offensive. The fact that you asked impressed me, I accept the
term, from you, as an endearment.”
TANNER:
This was my exact intent. We knew a lot about each other
before that first date.
Even then, there was an air of mystery. Remember, I hadn’t
actually seen your great legs until we met face-to-face.
And I have to admit, I was more concerned about how you
would appeal to me
than I was with how I
would appear to you.
LOREN:
“There’s the meat of it and the heart
of this discussion. I was guilty of the same thing and it’s
a selfish attitude
and the wrong way to approach the first
date.”
TANNER:
So, do we get down and
dirty on the first
date, or do we hide
behind polite chatter and never get to the real
issues or points?
LOREN:
“Very good questions. The answer is a double-edged
sword. As a woman who loves sex and wants a very active,
sensuous, sexually-active partner, I’m not about to get
involved with a man who doesn’t crave the same.”
TANNER:
Wouldn’t much of this desire have surfaced in earlier
communications? Therefore, on your first
date, you would already be aware of the man’s sexual
appetite.
LOREN:
“There’s the catch.
I don’t want to make waves or tick anybody off, but men
lie! Especially in hot and heavy phone calls, chat rooms
and E-mail.”
TANNER:
So do women! Many put up a front as being a nymph when in
reality; they can’t make it more than once-a-week!
LOREN:
“No argument – I agree! We have to get real.
Make sure what you profess in your pre-date communications is
true, don’t lie on any level. If you do, you could wind up
in a very embarrassing situation.”
TANNER:
Okay, we’ve been upfront, no fish-stories and we seem to
like each other from phone calls, E-mails & chat rooms.
Tonight we’re face-to-face across the small table in a nice lounge. This is the
awakening! I’ve been there and it’s scary.
LOREN:
“More than scary. You may have had phone-sex
with this person and got off just fine. Maybe you shared
intimate secrets before tonight. Yes, you might have felt
something in your heart for this person you’ve not laid eyes
on until this minute. Do you think any of these things
couldn’t be? Think again. You might just be dead in love
with an image – an idea! Now there he/she is – in the
flesh! What do you do?”
TANNER:
You’ve scared the hell out of me! I can see all my bad
encounters.
LOREN:
“You handled them wrong. When you met them and they were
pretty and sexy-looking, you swooned over them. Your drooling
killed it, there and then. That cuts both ways. Ladies,
don’t fall all over the hunk you see across the table.
Observe, evaluate and yes, judge. Be cool and yes, really judge. Right here, this moment is your call. The man you’re
looking at may seem like everything you’ve dreamed of. He
may also become your worst nightmare.”
TANNER:
You’re scaring the ladies. How can they be sure the guy’s
okay?
LOREN:
“Unfortunately, they can’t. I suggest making arrangements
with a friend that you intend to meet someone for the first
time. Your friend should know the person’s name, address,
phone number, where and what time you intend to meet. You
should arrange to call your friend sometime during the date to
say you’re all right. Your date doesn’t have to know about
your call. This may seem well over the top, but you can’t be
too cautious.”
TANNER:
Okay, men are not removed from danger in this area either.
I’ve read the horror stories where a man makes arrangements
for a great night and winds up hand-cuffed to a bed or chamber
wall. He wanted a little domination and wound up being chained
up as a sex-slave. That’s not fiction either.
LOREN:
No, it isn’t and I agree with you … the sword cuts both
ways. Woman or man, you must be careful and be sure before,
during and what comes after that first
date!
TANNER:
I couldn't agree more!
If
this article has a sub-theme it would be CAUTION
and we support that to the Max!
Take care,
Brandon Tanner
|
