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 “Is
She Really a Female?”
(Gentlemen beware)
by
Brandon Tanner
Not all adult
personals sites take the time to rate every ad and photo they
approve. Some, like SexyAds for example, will weed out the
frauds, the jokers and the pretenders. But some sites allow
members to breeze on in under any guise.
As a result,
men are posing
as women on personals sites all across the Internet. Most of
them are gay or bisexual and they’re getting off by hiding their
real gender. They engage straight men in Cyber-sex, even phone
sex. Yes, some of these clowns can imitate the female voice
quite convincingly.
Loren and I decided to expand on the topic as the result of
feedback from an earlier article. We mentioned the subject, but
didn’t elaborate. Several straight men responded with
embarrassment, anger and felt they had been slapped in the face;
virtually, they had been.
To get deeper into the issue, Loren and I (in a sense) went
under cover. My part was to respond to over two-hundred female
ads on fifty Adult-personals sites. Loren
posed as a gay male and joined various sites for gay & Bi men.
She entered chat rooms and forums and started boasting about
posing as a woman. Loren did an outstanding job of gathering the
bulk of information we were looking for. Let’s hear from her
first.
LOREN: “As a Bi-fem, the process was enlightening. However, I
soon became irritated with some of the bastard gay men
perpetrating a fraud. Fun or not, they were getting their
jollies at the expense of unsuspecting straight guys hoping to
get laid or find a serious relationship.”
TANNER: I couldn’t agree more. My efforts proved to be
frustrating because it was extremely difficult to detect a
fraud. Some of these guys are skilled at the scam. One tip off
was in the reluctance to set up an in-person meeting. I proposed
a non-committal, safe meeting in a public place. That offer
followed several erotic E-mails and some very uncomfortable
cyber-sex.
LOREN: “I know.” (she laughs) “You were embarrassed and
red-faced and had difficulty getting through even a short
session.”
TANNER: Yeah, I did – even though the majority was female!
LOREN: “What about the real women who did agree to meet with
you?”
TANNER: I simply told the truth about what we were doing and
most of them accepted it as a good idea and asked to see the
finished article. Several, however, became angry and accused me
of being the fraud. In reality, for those real ladies, I guess I
was being a fraud. More than a few threatened to report me and
have me thrown off the site for policy violation.
As I got more involved with the thrust of our probe, if you
will, I caught onto a pattern. The phony females always had the
most professional-looking pictures. They consistently avoided
relationship or romance talk. They insisted on sex-talk in a
private chat room, erotic E-mail and/or phone sex. Those were
the polished guys who could imitate a female voice.
LOREN: “Even with that you couldn’t be sure.”
TANNER: Not until I finally pushed the right button.
LOREN: “Which was?”
TANNER: Confrontation – I got them into a chat room or on an IM
and said, “You’re not a female, you fake bastard!” Wham, gone,
blocked me from E-mail and IMs instantly. Many personals sites
allow women to join free. The administration frowns on men
posing as women and when they catch them at it the account is
banned from the site. Of course, they can always reregister
under a new identity, which most of the jerks will do.
The good news is: out of the two-hundred female ads I responded
to and was able to get involved with, only sixty-five turned out
to be, or appeared to be, men posing as women.
LOREN: “I reaped a bigger harvest. Actually, it was easier for
me because of the method I used.”
TANNER: We’re all ears, let’s hear it.
LOREN: “I posed as a gay male and signed up with gay sites
catering to gay men. Yes, I was the fraud, just as you were, but
for the purpose of exposing a growing cancer on the Internet.
I’m glad I had a chance to open the door to some of the garbage
we have to deal with. I’m preaching. I’m sorry.”
TANNER: Just tell us what and how you did what you did.
LOREN: “Up front … I have to say it again. I’m a Bi-fem, many of
my girlfriends and men I know are Gay or Bi – I love them.
However, I take serious offense when anyone, male or female, gay
or straight, takes advantage of others for their own
kicks.“Posing as a gay man, I established a few online
connections and flirted myself into cyber-sex and erotic E-mail.
I couldn’t go for the phone-sex – I can’t imitate a man’s
voice.”
TANNER: Thank God you didn’t try. Go on …
LOREN: “After telling a few of the gay men, in E-mail exchanges,
that I was running ads as a female, I raved about the cyber-sex
I was having with straight guys. Some of them were offended and
blocked me from E-mail and IMs. I admired those guys.
TANNER: We’re they the majority?
LOREN: “Fortunately, yes, at least among those I wound up
working with. However, it didn’t take long to connect with one
smart-ass bastard who poses as a woman on eight personals sites
under as many different handles. Through him, I got into a dozen
(private) gay men-only chat rooms.”
TANNER: And, up to then, no one challenged you?
LOREN: “Not once … I guess I played it well.”
TANNER: Were the chat rooms focused on the game or just random?
LOREN: “Absolutely focused! They were raving about the thrill of
getting a straight man to engage in cyber-sex with them. The
ones who could pull off a female voice and do phone were the
worst!”
TANNER: From what I got into, I can believe it.
LOREN: “These sick people are not isolated to a small area. The
fraud is running Internet-wide.”
TANNER: That means world-wide. This kind of activity is
undermining personals sites that are trying to offer a clean,
straight-forward, service to their members.
LOREN: “Maybe our efforts will help make people more cautious
or, at least, wiser and more aware.”
TANNER: I’m sure they’ll do both. However, as we publish this
article some innocent, honest, guy who thinks he’s found the
love of his life is chatting with a gay man posing as a woman.
LOREN: “I have an idea – it won’t stop the scam, but it’ll cramp
their style for a while.”
TANNER: Let’s hear it.
LOREN: “We could publish all the user names, handles, IM IDs and
E-mail addresses we collected.”
TANNER: They’d just come up with new names and addresses.
LOREN: “Yes, they would, but think of the hassle that would be.
I love it – let’s do it!”
TANNER: Take care, Tanner & Loren
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