Swinging requires more than a partner and the desire. At face value the idea seems great. ”Hey, we’re gonna get it on with several couples and have a blast!”

Think about it before you walk into swing-party you’re not prepared for. Loren and I have a guest couple in this month’s column that’ve been-there-done-that.

Loren, I’ll let you introduce our guests.

LOREN: “We’re pleased to have Janis and Todd with us to share some insight regarding swing-parties large and small.”

TANNER: Todd, let’s have some background on your experience as a swing couple.

TODD: “We got into the lifestyle during the summer of ninety-eight. I found out about a private club in Dallas and we decided to give it a shot … if only we’d known.”

TANNER: Known what?

LOREN: “Janis tells the story quite well, Jan …”

JANIS: “We arrived at the club dressed for the occasion and ready for an exciting evening.”

TODD: “Exciting all right – it turned into a train wreck!”

TANNER: You went there ready for group sex right?

JANIS: “We didn’t expect the group to be so large. At first it was okay. There were several couples in the lounge talking and having drinks. It appeared to be an ordinary Saturday night party; at least for the first hour or so.”

LOREN: “Was there any adult activity in the lounge?”

TODD: “Not really, a little hugging and kissing. I thought we might’ve gone to the wrong place. At nine O’clock sharp the front doors were locked and the atmosphere changed rapidly.”

TANNER: Why did they lock the doors?

JANIS: “When we made reservations we were told to be there before nine. I didn’t think much of it until the bartender bolted the doors.”

LOREN: “How were the other couples reacting?”

TODD: “I could tell a few couples were first-timers because they seemed as surprised as we did.”

JANIS: “The hostess came into the lounge through a set of heavy, red curtains that led to another room.”

TODD: “She looked fantastic in her black lace top, fishnets and five-inch high heels. She told us we could join all the others in the party area.”

TANNER: Sounds like it was getting kinky and you two were getting nervous.

JANIS: “I was, more so than Todd. The hostess picked up on it and told us to relax and join the others. She made a point of saying we could leave anytime.”

 LOREN: “Did you feel more comfortable?”

TODD: “Yeah – until we entered the party area.”

JANIS: There were at least twenty couples that had been in the larger room ahead of the few in the lounge. When we got in there we were in the middle of a huge orgy! I was stunned.”

TODD: “It was the most embarrassing moment I’ve ever had. JANIS was just staring and clutching my arm. She couldn’t even speak.”

JANIS: “I had no idea it would be that open. People were screwing everywhere – threesomes, foursomes – even more going on. I was shocked … to say the least.”

TANNER: What had you expected to experience at a swing-party?

TODD: “We weren’t prepared to see four couples tangled up on the dance floor and a naked fat lady fucking three guys nearby.”

LOREN: “However, you’re still swingers and, in fact, host monthly swing-parties of your own. Am I correct?”

JANIS: “You are absolutely correct and we’ve been doing so since October of ninety-eight.”

TANNER: That’s about two months after you were frightened away from your first orgy.

TODD: “We actually fled the place, but it wasn’t a total waste.”

LOREN: “I would imagine you got a pretty good education about adult parties.”

JANIS: “After the experience sunk in a bit we started talking about how a swing-party could be staged more professionally.”

TODD: “We thought smaller would be better, more intimate.”

TANNER: And a hell of a lot less embarrassing. Loren and I faced the same issues with our adult video productions.

LOREN: “A comfortable atmosphere makes all the difference. When we’re shooting I give a lot of attention to the ladies, especially the new ones. They’re nervous at first because most of them haven’t met the men before.”

TANNER: We try to keep everything relaxed with no pressure on the performers. Sometimes we’re working with three or four couples. Actually, it’s very much the same as a swing-party.

LOREN: “What did you come up with for your own parties?”

TODD: “Location was one of our main concerns. We didn’t want someplace on a back street that looked like a warehouse. So, we decided to host the parties at our own house.”

TANNER: I’ve seen a few of those back-street places. For me they’re a turnoff. However, a lot of them are popular.

LOREN: “Apparently your parties are successful.”

JANIS: “Most of our couples are regular. They bring friends and the word gets around. We like to keep it at ten or eleven couples for each party, it’s more intimate and everybody follows the rules.”

TANNER: How often do you host a party and what are some of the rules?

TODD: “Once a month, Friday night is for singles and Saturday night for couples only. Jan came up with most of the rules.”

JANIS: “We both did really. There’s no smoking in the house, people bring their own booze and we provide the mix. We also have hot and cold snacks an’ even towels.”

TODD: “There’s no excessive drinking allowed. If somebody gets drunk they’re escorted out and driven home by their partner or one of our people.”

TANNER: I take it you have security. Volunteers or paid?

JANIS: “We have four big, strong guys who are paid to take care of any problems. Fortunately, there haven’t been any serious incidents.”

LOREN: “What if a guy tries for a woman who isn’t interested in him?”

TODD: “No pressure – that’s one of the main rules and everybody knows it. When a lady says no, it’s no period. Our Web site and Newsletter explain everything. We want everybody well informed before they join the club.”

TANNER: Ever have any trouble from neighbors or the cops?

JANIS: “Not so far. We have a large house on six acres of wooded land about ten-miles northeast of Dallas. Our closest neighbor is over a mile away.”

TODD: “One other rule is no adult activity outside the house. There have been a few couples caught in the act. Generally it’s not a problem.”

LOREN: “Jan, do you or Todd get involved with the guests?”

JANIS: “On occasion we do … with couples we’ve known for a while.”

TANNER: Now, the big question – how do you handle safe sex?

TODD: “The rule is clear; condoms are required married couples included and we have a stock on hand. Regarding the cops, we don’t sell alcohol and our guests are over twenty one. It’s all consensual and all for personal enjoyment. We haven’t been busted yet.”

LOREN: “I’m sure there’s a cover charge.”

JANIS: “We get a forty-dollar donation for couples and thirty-five from the guys an’ twenty from the ladies on singles night. One of our security guys collects and checks IDs at the door.”

TODD: “We have the food, mixers an’ soda catered so Jan doesn’t have mess with any of it. There’s a nice profit from both events.”

LOREN: “Brandon an’ I will have to join your club.”

JANIS: “You’re welcome to be our special guests this weekend.”

TANNER: Sounds like a plan. Thank you for the invite.

There you have it folks. If you’re planning to attend a swing-party for the first time be sure you’re prepared to handle it.

Take care; we’ll see you next month.