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TRANSLATING PERSONAL ADS - JOKE!

Affectionate . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Horny

Amusing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Watches too much TV

Aging Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Self centered adult.

Ample . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Fat

Assertive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Pushy with a mean streak.

Attractive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Average and conceited

Average . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Below Average

Chatty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Never shuts up.

Cute . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Ugly

Dynamic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Pushy

Excited About Life's Journey . . . . . .No concept of reality

Fat and Sassy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Large and loudmouthed.

Financially secure (I am) . . . . . . . .  Has a job.

Financially secure (you are) . . . . . . .Rich

Freedom loving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Undependable.

Free Spirited . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Crazy and irresponsible.

High Spirited . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Crazy, and throws things.

Huggable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Large

Humorous . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Never shuts up

Independent Thinker . . . . . . . . . . . . Crazy

Irreverent . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . .Swears like a sailor

Looking for Mr./Ms Right . . . . . . . . . Looking for Mr/Ms Rich.

Moody . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive.

Non Drinker. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Just finished the 12 step program.

Passionate . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . REALLY horny.

Petite (I am) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Short.

Petite (you are) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Size 2.

Poetic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and boring.

Relaxed. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lazy

Romantic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Horny

Self Employed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Unemployed

Slender . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Skinny

Social Drinker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Boozer

Soulful . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Too shy to leave the room alone

Svelte . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Anorexic

Uninhibited . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..Lacking basic social skills.

Unpredictable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Not taking necessary medication

Very Human . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Ugly as a mud fence

Young at Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Over 40

Youthful . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Over 50 and in major denial.