Lingam Massage
By WiseWoman
The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam
(pronounced LING-AHM,
[LING rhymes with sing]) and is loosely translated as "Wand of
Light." Its meaning is different in intention from the typical
Western view of the penis (i.e., Cock, Prick, Dong, Dick, etc.,
words that may come from a limited perspective, depending on the
intent of their usage). In Tantra/Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam
is respectfully viewed and honored, a "Wand of Light" that
channels creative energy and pleasure.
The purpose of the Lingam Massage is to create a space the
receiver to relax, and receive expanded pleasure from his
lingam. His partner (the giver) experiences the joy of
facilitating and witnessing the man surrendering to his softer,
gentler side. The Lingam Massage can be used as a form of safer
sex and is an excellent process to build trust and intimacy. It
is often used to help men heal from negative sexual conditioning
and trauma.
One of the purposes for the need for this type of massage, is to
teach men the difference between orgasm and ejaculation so that
they can learn to better control both aspects of their sexual
expression. Once having learned this technique, the man can
expand his skills, better pleasuring his partner, for longer
periods of time. This can only enhance both partners overall
sense of love and well-being.
Many men who have the challenge of premature ejaculation,
benefit greatly by learning this technique because they find
that they can have multiple whole-body orgasms, while
maintaining their erection because the giver is not supposed to
allow the man to ejaculate (relinquishing their "chi" or life
force). If the receiver has totally given himself over to his
giver, she will be able to sense his pending ejaculation, and
adjust her stimulation, to prevent his going over the edge. This
builds the sexual energy slowly to a massive crescendo of
pleasure, once the giver allows the ejaculation to take place,
sometimes 45 minutes to an hour later.
Ejaculation is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it is
often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage
the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot
(the equivalent to the female G-spot), and allow the man to
surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be used to. If he can
achieve the very coveted ability to have whole-body multiple
orgasms WITHOUT ejaculating, all the better. Sometimes this
takes many sessions with a very experienced tantrika to learn
and perfect. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax
into the massage.
Men need to learn to RELAX and RECEIVE. Traditional sexual
conditioning has the man in a "doing and cumming" oriented mode.
The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more
receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional
perspective. Once he turns over his instinct to procreate, he
can then more fully enjoy all the different sensations,
feelings, and results of this incredibly powerful gift the giver
is giving him.
Preparation:
Take a relaxing bath or shower. Take your time and breathe
deeply.Conscious, relaxed breathing will take you out of your
mental process and will get you more into your feelings. Relax
your belly and let go of the tension that most of us hold there.
Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best
results occur when
the bowels and bladder are empty.
Let go of your thoughts and connect with your partner through
hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other's eyes for
an extended time), bringing both of you to a place of relaxation
and trust.
Procedure:
Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so
he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered
with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart
with the knees slightly bent over the top of the givers spread
out legs and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage.
The giver sits between the receivers' legs, with her legs spread
so that she has nothing obstructing her ability to massage his
lingam, testicles and sacred spot.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc.,
to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe
deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation.
Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil on the shaft of the
Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles,
taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive
area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage
the area above
the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area
between the
testicles and anus. Take your time. You are giving a massage to
an often neglected area of the body.
Massage the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure.
Gently squeeze
the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull UP and slide
off and then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing
this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction
by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam and then
sliding DOWN and off. Again, alternate with right and left
hands.
Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange
juicer. Massage
all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there are many nerve
endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the
body. It is said many ailments can be cured by receiving a good
Lingam Massage.
NOTE: The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this
technique. Do
not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably find
that it will get hard, then go soft, and get hard again, etc.,
which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a
wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and softness are two ends of
the pleasure spectrum.
If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off,
allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the
massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and
then backing off. Have him visualize a ball of energy moving
from the groin area up his belly, expanding out throughout all
parts of his body. Instruct him to pump his PC muscle (the
muscle used to pinch off the flow of pee), which will send the
energy inwards causing a whole-body experience rather then out
through his wand of light as happens during an ejaculation.
Remember, the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn
the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to
ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep
breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate.
Eventually, ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as
long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without
losing a drop of semen.
Orgasm and ejaculation are two
different responses that you can learn to separate. The result
is a very expanded sex life.
Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There are two ways to do
this.
One is by finding the spot midway between the testicles and
anus. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or
maybe larger. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the
pressure deep inside and it may be intensely painful at first.
Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened, he will be
able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You
can massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his
Sacred Spot with your left hand. Try pushing in on this spot
when he nears ejaculation. It is aptly named the Million Dollar
Point in Taoism.
The other way to access the Sacred Spot is through the anus.
Many men, especially heterosexual men, are uncomfortable at
first as a result of negative sexual conditioning. Be careful
here and use lubrication. The key is to go slow and be very
gentle. Make sure he is breathing as you slip a finger from your
left hand into the anus about an inch or so. Then crook the
finger back in a "come here" gesture. You will feel the prostate
gland. Vary the pressure and speed of massage. He may want
stimulation of the Lingam as you massage the Sacred Spot. Back
off on the Lingam as he approaches orgasm and increase the
pressure on the Sacred Spot.
Sometimes the man may have strong emotions come up during access
to the
Sacred Spot. He may cry and remember a traumatic event from his
past. You,
the giver, are in a place of trust and intimacy. Allow him to
feel his emotions and be very loving, not trying to console or
fix him, just let him feel whatever he needs to. Encourage him
to scream, cry, moan, sob, if it feels appropriate. Be the best
friend and healer he could have in that moment.
Ending the Massage:
If he chooses to let go and ejaculate, encourage him to breathe
deeply during the orgasm. It will blow his mind, especially if
he has come close and held back four or more times before
ejaculating. Holding back many times charges up the sexual
battery with tremendous energy. It is then his choice as to
where he wants to send this energy -- out with his ejaculate
(the prevailing paradigm) or inward for other uses (men who
master ejaculation are able to channel this energy into other
areas of their being).
When he feels complete with the massage gently remove your hands
and allow him to lie there quietly. You may want to snuggle up
together or you can leave the room and let him drift off into a
meditative state. Allow him to fully experience his childlike
innocence and magnificent male beauty.
Have fun with this technique and share it with your friends and
loved ones.
©2004 Tami Fox. All rights reserved.
<Personal note to those who have graciously taken the time to
respond to my ad and previous articleâ?¦..THANK YOU SO MUCH. It
is a great pleasure to hear from all of you. <smile>
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