|
 Bi
Chance?
Part
II:
Online Explorations of Bi
Behavior
By WiseWoman
As stated in
Part I of this series of articles on bi-ness in today’s culture,
“If a man’s deep-seated self-conception is based on society’s
belief that he might be considered ‘gay’ if he shows emotion or
affection, is it a surprise that by the age of 40 many males are
finding the need to develop dual identities? One being the
‘normal straight’ hubby at home and the other being the
‘bi-curious’ male,” especially on the internet. The latter part
of this statement is being acted upon in a BIG way and often as
a result of contacts made online; brave steps are being taken
into “real time” by those who have given in to the curiosity.
What might have only ever been a “fantasy” is now, because of
the net, finding its way into “reality.”
Women who have
been typically “straight” are also becoming more intrigued with
the idea of perhaps trying sex with other women and are actually
highly encouraged by their male partner. It’s interesting that
most women are not wrapped up in the “sex with same gender”
stigma that men are though.
This can be
observed by entering a couples’ chat room. The male partner
boasts proudly that his woman is bi. The value of the couple
goes up several notches if the female partner IS bi. Often while
reading profiles of the couple, it can be noted that they seek
out and would most likely respond to other couples offering a bi
woman.
The male may
well be bi but he is very cautious about revealing that piece of
information. He is worried the other men will consider him gay
and/or a threat to their masculinity so his behavior is mostly
straight. When in a singles chat room, the bi men who are
basically seeking female company are VERY hush hush about their
alternative sexual orientation.
The man’s
perception is that straight women are not going to be interested
in men who are bi and if they even have “bisexual” on their
profile, they think it will lessen their chances of procuring
dates from women. So they assume it prudent to hide this fact.
It appears that there has to be a deep level of trust
established between a “closet” bi male and his potential “hot”
date with a female before his “bi-ness” is disclosed. Yet, a
female, if bi, has absolutely NO compunction about making this
known. I find this a sad reality.
As a woman on
the cyber highway, I have experienced over ten men instant
messaging me in a few minutes’ time, ALL of whom asked if I was
bi. This is one of the top 3 questions posed and my usual answer
is “above the waist only. Are you bi?” (LOL) Most of which
answer very quickly with an emphatic “NO WAY!” Then I say, “Oh
too bad.” This seems to elicit a truth serum effect and opens a
whole new discussion about what is REALLY lurking behind that
screen. It can be quite amusing.
Some women call
themselves “bi above the waist” which means they do not have any
interest in performing oral sex with other women but they do
enjoy stroking and fondling, maybe even kissing or sucking
nipples. They have no problem in group situations touching,
brushing up against other women and might even enjoy being eaten
by other women. They just do not have any desire to reciprocate
the “oral” part of the exercise. This should not be judged as
“phobic,” but rather that it is simply not her naturalness to do
so. There is certainly NO emotional or societal pressure hanging
over her head to prevent her from performing this act, like
there is for man-to-man. Homophobic men often feel uncomfortable
just being next to other men.
My partner and I
have had a couples profile and have explored couples chat rooms.
We have scoured the ads, met a few couples, talked to dozens and
thoroughly enjoy the idea of sharing sensuality. There does not
need to be limitations on age, race, sexual orientation, or
class status to enjoy sharing sexual energy. If it doesn’t turn
out to meet your expectations (which you should try to minimize)
it doesn’t need to be repeated but can still be appreciated as
an adventure and learning experience. There really should be no
distinction between gender proclivities as long as you feel
safe, enjoy being pleasured and enjoy the endless delights of
giving pleasure. I say, “Bi all means.”
©2005 TamiFox. All rights reserved. <Personal note to
those who have graciously taken the time to respond to my ad and previous articles>..THANK YOU SO MUCH.
It
is a great pleasure to hear from all of you. <smile>
WiseWoman's
Previous Three Articles:
Bi Chance Part I
Couples Swinging for Novices
Lingham Massage |
