The
Write Stuff
Wise
words from WiseWoman on how to make your
personal ad work like gangbusters.
As
John Gray has made known, Men are from Mars and
Women are from Venus.
This
means that we speak two completely different
languages. Women are said to speak from their
hearts, and men are said to speak from their
heads, and sometimes from their big head too.
LOL. This is not always the case for I have
heard from numerous men who spoke very
eloquently from their hearts with very well
thought out, sincere concerns.
In
reading the ads here on Sexyads from men, I see
two distinct types of ads.
One
type is the man, usually under the age of 35,
who tells the reader what he wants sexually from
a woman. "I want this, I want that,"
types are usually very self-absorbed and smack
of selfishness and usually just want to please
their itch without much concern
for pleasing their partner.
The
other type are the men, usually over the age of
35, who have figured out that telling the woman
what he wants to give to her is more a language
a woman can understand. Since your ad is the
first impression a woman gets about you, it is
highly important that you communicate in ways
that she can relate to.
I
venture to guess that all the women on this
site, KNOW that you men are here to find one or
more partners with whom you can have sex. But
how you entice a woman to give you that sex
begins with your ad. The more experienced man
knows that a way to a woman's pussy is to win
her mind first.
Communicating
with the written word can present a serious
challenge. Most of us feel totally UNinhibited
while writing to someone who has no face, no
expression and no distractions to alter the
delivery of the thought.
Therefore, the risk of misinterpretation
is much higher. And the fact that the language
is so much different between men and women also
presents a huge challenge. What might have
worked successfully with one person may be
completely inappropriate with another person.
One
thing I find very funny is the person who writes
up a great initial email about his likes and
dislikes
etc., and sends it to many different women. I
have several girlfriends who tell me so and so
wrote the most lovely email spelling out his
desires so beautifully, and I find out that I
got the exact same email. Gee, doesn't THAT make
me feel special?? NOT! <giggle>.
I
think we have all experienced this and maybe
many reading are even guilty of it. My
suggestion is that
if
you want to entice a woman, gentlemen, treat
them as individuals and if you are going to send
an email en masse, at least have several
different pre-written examples that are
different but say the same, so you don't get
caught in that scenario.
Even
though we girls laugh at the realization that we
all got the same email from the same guy, we
still usually don't make a date because for some
reason, even though we KNOW all the guys are
writing to as many women as they can, it just
takes the specialness out of the quotient.
We
tend to take things personally while reading and
fantasize that you are speaking to us
personally. This is a major mistake, but
nevertheless, that is the reality. So know that
when you are writing to us we are feeling
special and singled out of the crowd.
It
is my intent that all of us on here are
successful in getting what we need. Many of
these suggestions are for both genders:
1)
Be charming (don't tell us what you want.
We already know what you want.
We want to hear what are you willing to
DO to GET what you want??)
2)
Be funny (when I come away from reading
an ad with a smile or even laughing, I
definitely consider going to the next level if
other things are also compatible).
3)
Be REAL (if you are apologizing for being
on this site, we then think you might think we
are inferior also).
4)
Have a recent picture with no hat and no
dark glasses (having a pic of your face and an
ad, not just a profile is a big plus because
presenting yourself as you REALLY are speaks
volumes. After all, we do want a REALman not
just a stiff one <grin>).
5)
When you send an email to introduce
yourself, be informative. Tell a little about
your situation, how you might like our first
date to go, be honest and if you didn't have a
pic in your ad, definitely send one here. Also,
give your real email address just in case she is
a non-paying member and can only send one email
through Sexyads per day. Most women get more
than one inquiry per day so this is important if
you want to hear back. When you send a pic using
your regular email address, put your Sexyads
name in the Subject line so she knows who it is
from. Don't assume you are the ONLYman sending
her pics, and she has no way to know who is who
unless you say so. You will save a lot of
embarrassment this way.
6)
Here is a huge tip for the older
gentlemen: If you are going to lie about your
age because you have experienced that many women
don't want a man over the age of 50, you are
going to have to constantly explain why. Avoid
this. When you make out your profile, you are
asked your age. If you put another age in your
ad because you forgot that when you made out
your profile you were asked, this puts up a red
flag to us women. The reason many women are put
off by older men is because so many of them have
erectility challenges. If you are over 45, and
are finding that women think you're too old for
them, what they are really saying is that in
their experience, the majority of men over 40
can't keep it up much less even get it up.
(Truth be known, we women don't find this as
much of a problem as the men do but ONLY if they
are willing to take the necessary time to
satisfy us by other means).
SO if indeed you have NO problems in this
area, and you are over 40, my suggestion is that
you so state it in your ad. You can say
something like this, "Don't let my age
deter you because not only does everything
function well, but the experience I bring to the
table (or bed) will leave you with a smile
wanting more," or something to that effect.
Make sure you let us know in your ad that all
parts work!! If they DON'T work so well, you can
state that it is your objective that you will
guarantee her satisfaction no matter what
methods are necessary. Going overboard about
loving oral is a tip off to the woman that your
"manhood" isn't quite UP to snuff.
Caveat:
As I have said in past articles, I get so many
men writing to me saying that the women never
write back to them and almost every time it
perplexes me because when I go to read their ads
(as I do before I respond to them), for the most
part I find them to be charming, enticing and
completely datable. I admit, the gentlemen who
take the time to pour their hearts out to me are
seriously trying to find notable companionship
and not just a good fuck!
So
I have a challenge for you ladies out there.
Please write to me telling me what it takes for
you to respond to a man on this site.
If you're a
SexyAds
member, you
may write to wisewoman@sexyads.com
©2002
Tami Fox. All rights reserved
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